Hidden Truths
by onceuponafanfiction1
Summary: Christmas is around the corner, and Mary Margaret and David asked Emma to come spend it with them, in hopes that the family could grow a backbone and accept each other. What happens when pretending to be someone else goes too far? What happens when that pretending is too hard to stay pretending? What happens when lying becomes more abundant than the amount of men you sleep with?
1. Prologue

**A/N: So I just finished my OutlawQueen fanfiction, "A Promise", and one of my bigger fans requested that I write a CaptainSwan one. I just at first wanted to thank everyone who read that story and who helped me make it real for all of you. My friends told me I was a good writer, but I didn't believe them; that is, until I decided to write fanfiction and see all the lovely comments from all of the readers. I didn't realize that there were so many people who love reading these things.**

 **Anyways, a basic summary of the following story:**

 **Emma Swan is still having a hard time accepting that she is no longer an orphan. She has reconnected with her parents, Mary Margaret and David Nolan, who she still has a rough time being around. She wants to be the daughter that they always wanted: responsible, successful, smart, and kind, however, that's not her at all. Emma Swan is truthfully and entirely the opposite. She spent herself a good amount of time in jail, she gave up a child in jail, she went through jobs like they were nothing, and men - well - let's just say they were a more constant thing. Christmas is around the corner, and Mary Margaret and David asked Emma to come spend it with them, in hopes that the family could grow a backbone and accept each other. What happens when pretending to be someone else goes too far? What happens when that pretending is too hard to stay pretending? What happens when lying becomes more abundant than the amount of men you sleep with?**

 **Enjoy this. Leave me a review or favorite to let me know you liked it.**

 **P.S. The prologue is shorter than what the actual chapters will be. Chapters will most likely be 4-6k words and will be posted every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.**

* * *

 **Prologue** : A Beginning of A New End

Emma paced around the room, chewing on her lip and rubbing her hands. Her cheeks were a rosy pink from the cold - her apartment didn't have any heat since she couldn't pay for it. Her fingers were trembling with frostbite - she had lost the only pair of gloves she had owned. And her head was spinning - from the amount of alcohol she consumed the night before with who knows what man on the next floor.

She was of course regretting her decision of saying yes to her _parents_. She knew that she was nothing they were expecting her to be. She wasn't some perfect angel, born and raised on a beautiful estate with a full fridge of food, a warm, cozy bed, or a loving family to care for her through sickness and health, and all that other stuff. _No_ \- Emma Swan was raised in a dump you could called "Boston Orphanage" located on the same street as the corner store she robbed when she was 15, which located right around the corner of the town sheriff's office, where she got plenty acquainted with the officers since she spent so much time in a jail cell. The orphanage was owned by an obnoxious, old lady, who went by the name of Mrs. K; she had dark brown curls that filled her whole head, wore ten thousand coats of makeup, and made the children of the buildings do all the work. And before you say it - _no_ \- it was nothing like Annie. There was never any happy ending for Emma.

Emma grew up in the slowest, most painful way any child could. She never got adopted, she was bullied by the other kids, she even was the last to get any of the leftovers they ate and was the only one who had to do extra work. "It'll help you in the long run." Mrs. K would say, "This is the best you'll ever do." She said. This was just one more thing that prompted Emma to rob that corner store when she was 15.

The other half of it was her misfit of a friend, Lily. She was also a no good, just like Emma. In many ways, they were similar. Parents had left them alone, never got adopted, oldest at the orphanage. Eventually Lily had thought up the bold idea of robbing the corner store and making it on their own so they didn't have to suffer anymore. And of course, Emma said yes.

By that time, Emma had enough with the entire system. She didn't care about anything anymore. So, her and Lily, they broke into the corner store around three in the morning, and they were greeted by the town sheriff. Months later, Emma was released, she ignored Lily and cut her out of her life, leaving Emma all alone once again.

That was the beginning. Well - the beginning of a new end.

Then she grew up some, turned eighteen and met a guy named Neal, who she for sure thought she was in love with. They had exchanged I love you's and both were sure the relationship was going to take a bigger step towards their future. But then, as all good things end, Neal was a thief too; he had a plan to get some money for their elopement, and Emma followed him gladly. Too bad that the police only caught Emma, not Neal, and Neal just watched her get arrested for what he caused. Yet another end.

Little did he know, she was carrying his baby.

Long story short, Emma gave birth to a baby boy in jail at the age of 19; she had no choice but to give him away. She couldn't raise a child in jail. She wouldn't put him through what she had to go through. All she knew was that her little boy was adopted by some woman named Regina Mills, and she hoped that he would live a better life than she had.

Emma finally got out of jail three days before her 22nd birthday. She went home to a giant pile of bills that had to be paid, including her rent, heating, and water. Much of which didn't get paid, and still isn't paid. However, she started to try to change her life a little bit, hoping that one day she would meet the little boy again, hoping that she would reunite with her family, or hoping that she'd someday fall in love with the perfect man. But that got tiring. So, she reverted back to her old ways, not caring one bit about anything. She went out to clubs every night, drinking the most alcohol her body could consume, flirting with all the men, and dancing the night away. She'd most likely bring home a guy that night, drink a little more, do some stuff, and shove him outta her apartment in the morning. This was the start of a game she called, "Hotties", which she played against herself to see how many men she could sleep with and not get caught.

She knew she wasn't girlfriend material, she wasn't mother material, she wasn't even friend material. Somehow, though, her parents had found her and reached out to her, and they wanted to see her for Christmas - _what an awful idea._

Emma shook the memories out of her head. This was the worst idea yet. How could she be so stupid to think that accepting her _parents'_ proposal was the right thing to do? Well, it was of course the right thing to do, for them, but for her, it was probably the stupidest move a woman of her demeanor could make. Just plain and outright stupid.

How could she ever seem responsible, and successful, and smart, with a sense of class and flexibility, and have the picture of an adult, with the events she has gone through?

"A boyfriend." she said. The idea had just been crushing through her mind when she yanked it out. Of course! A boyfriend, to show commitment, and success, and passion, and all of the stuff her parents would have hoped for.

Emma wrapped her scarf around her neck once more and smiled to herself. She whipped out her phone and search the internet for possible bachelors. Not that any of them would be reasonable. She needed a cute, yet irresistible, a smart-looking, yet clumsy looking, and a boyfriend material guy. She couldn't just grab any man off the streets.

And then it happened. She clicked on the picture that was shown to see it more clearly. He was handsome, dark hair falling across a light-skinned face, and pale, curious-coloured eyes flashed through the haphazard strands. His jaw was firm and strong. There was an odd lightness about his eyes, though, and a small curve to his lips, as if there were something terribly funny only he knew the answer to. And hidden deep in his eyes, was the hint of danger.

He was the guy for the job. She clicked the message link and typed up a quick, short message with the least amount of details she could before hitting send and awaiting a response. Little bubbles formed to show her that he was typing back until a message popped up.

It read:

 **Aye, love. Of course I'd be up for the job. It may be hard without a meeting and getting or details straightened out. What do you say to dinner at the diner tomorrow night?**

She felt her cheeks grow rosy, as if she had a sudden spark of love zoom through her body and ignite some bit of happiness. She typed back slowly:

 **See you at 7 :)**

She immediately felt accomplished. Emma shut her phone off and finally fell asleep on the living room couch, something she hadn't done since she said yes to her parents.

She woke up later that night, only with a bitter reminder of what she had: a crappy, old apartment, a ripped up couch, and the clothes on her body. She knew she couldn't pull this off. It would all go south eventually. She rolled her eyes and just shrugged, because it didn't matter - _everything in her life went wrong anyway._

* * *

Emma walked down the sidewalk and came to an abrupt stop before entering the diner. Something deep inside of her was telling her this whole thing was a bad idea. That somehow it would all be ruined. She shrugged it off and patted her leg, straightening the nonexistent wrinkles in her pants, and opened the front door. She took a deep breath and scanned the room for the man she talked to last night, hoping that he would be waiting there for her.

Suddenly, someone on her side yelled, "Aye, you must be Emma Swan?"

She flipped her head to the side of the yell and her eyes grew big; this man was not good looking, he was simply gorgeous. Everything was ten times better in person than it was on his photo. Her body started to ache as he reached out his hand to shake hers.

"Uh, yes. And Killian Jones, is it?" she grabbed his hand and offered a small smile. He nodded and pulled her to sit at the table in the corner of the restaurant, sending her a stupid, yet adorable grin.

"Aye, that's me. So, what is it exactly that you want me to do, love?" he said, crossed his hands.

 _Love_ , ooh, that way it rolled off his tongue and hit her ears. It made her heart flutter. She quickly shook out of this trance and raised her eyebrow, "Well, I just reunited with my parents and I want to show them that I am successful and stuff, so I thought a boyfriend could probably look good?"

He laughed at her, "Well, sure. If any woman could tie down someone as good looking as me, they are surely very successful."

"So humble," she rolled her eyes and laughed, "Anyway, can you make it happen?"

"Love," he smirked at her, "I can make a lot of things happen. Especially for beautiful woman like you."

She blushed, not realizing how hard, and let out a small giggle. Then she snapped back into reality.

"Here's our important dates this far in our relationship," she pulled out a napkin with scribbled dates on it, "And I've been so very gracious to get us matching shirts for Christmas."

Killian looked at her stunned, but then laughed a little, "Wow, you really want to fool them, don't ya lass?"

She nodded and laughed, "Yes, so I'll meet you here tomorrow morning, be prepared with that information memorized, mister."

He stood up with her to shake her hand once more, "Emma Swan, what's your real story?"

She looked down at their hands, which were still holding the other's, and then back up at him, "A long story for someone I don't even know yet? No, thank you."

He laughed at her and looked down at their hands, that stupid grin forming again, "See you tomorrow, Emma Swan."

She took her hand away as she walked out of the diner and around the corner, before coming to a full stop to catch her breath.

Did she really just hire a man to be her fake boyfriend and to help fool her parents? Yes, she did.

Did she just set herself up for failure? Yes, she probably did.

It was hopefully a beginning, but not a beginning of a new end.

* * *

 **A/N: Well. Here's the first installment of "Hidden Truths".**

 **Please, please, please let me know what you thought of this.**

 **If you wanna follow me on my social media accounts, here ya go:**

 **Twitter - csouatoq**

 **Instagram - lanathequeennn & swanofacaptain**

 **Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I loved writing it. Kisses to you all.**


	2. A New Relationship

**A/N: Here's the first chapter to get you guys going on the story. Let me know what you think about it, since this is going to be an interesting one, I want to make sure you all love it. I twisted some things around so it's not exactly alike with the show, bt it's good enough.**

 **I should be posting every Tuesday and Friday, if I can keep up with it.**

 **Here we go, fricking 4.3k words.**

* * *

 **One** : A New Relationship

Emma zippered her jacket up and wrapped her scarf around her neck. It was getting insanely cold now that Christmas was right around the corner. She shivered to herself and stepped out of her apartment, locking the door behind her. Then, she started for the diner.

She sat at a table outside, waiting for Killian to swagger on up to her with that stupid grin of his. It was 9AM, and he was already fifteen minutes late. Not the best way to start off a new job. She rolled her eyes and stood up, forgetting about it, because somehow she knew it would end up like this.

Suddenly, someone called her name. She turned her head, her long, blonde curls flying the other way against the wind, her cheeks growing a light pink, and a small smile forming on her face. Relief. It was him. He hadn't left her.

He sent her a smirk and pulled a scarf from behind his back. It was a dark red, with thick black stripes sewed into it. Made of wool and stitched perfectly, he held it out for her before grabbing her hand and putting it on the scarf.

"What is this for?" she asked, still stunned. She hadn't even known the man for 24 hours, and he had already went out of his way for her.

"A little gift, before we go shopping." he said.

"Shopping?" she said, raising an eyebrow.

He nodded, "Well, a boyfriend that you've been dating for 8 months and who hasn't at least popped the question yet usually has given his girlfriend gifts by now, correct?"

She blushed and started to chew her lip, which she didn't intentionally do, but his gaze averted down to her lips and his mouth dropped open. Her cheeks grew a darker shade of red almost instantly before her hand found his shoulder and gave it a warm squeeze, "Thank you, Killian."

He turned on his heel and started walking ahead of her towards the center of town, "Let's start with some new clothes, maybe?"

She caught up to him and stopped him quickly by grabbing his arm, "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I am your boyfriend, right love?" he winked at her and linked their arms before stepping into the clothing store. He pushed her into the aisle.

She stood amazed, looking at all the options of clothing that hung on the racks. She hadn't been in a clothing shop for a good few years; she never had the money to go buy any new ones. He smiled at her - _no_ \- he smiled at her happiness. Something deep inside him told him that this wasn't going to be like any other job he had done. Something told him that it would _never_ be just a job.

Emma ran down the aisle and to the pants rack, the many colors of jeans and cargo pants and leggings made her body scream with swaggered over to her and leaned against the rack, "Pick out three outfits, and then we can go get you a coat, a pair of shoes, and some jewelry."

"Killian, you don't have to do this, I-"

"I insist, love." he rubbed her shoulder and offered a sweet smile, "Besides, they have to believe us, right?"

She chewed her lip once more, again, not meaning to, and grabbed two pairs of jeans, and a pair of black leggings. She then went over to the shirts rack and grabbed a black and white striped sweater, a black cardigan that came with a white t-shirt, and a green fuzzy sweater. Emma hugged the clothing and turned to Killian, "Are you sure about this? I mean, seriously? You don't have to."

"I'm more than sure." he said as he took the clothing from her, their hands touching each other's in the process and leaving awkwardness in the air. He cleared his throat before carrying the clothing to the registrar and paying for it.

Emma overheard the cashier say the total was $78. She watched as Killian took out his wallet and handed the money over to the lady like money grew on trees. He didn't mind the cost, meanwhile, Emma over here was gasping for air after just hearing the price. He walked over to her and handed her the bag full of clothes; she was still stunned that he just bought it all.

"Come on, next stop is a coat." he held the door open for her before they started to walk and went into the coat shop. A red leather jacket caught her eye the moment she walked in. She walked over to it, her mouth wide open, and felt the pure leather. Inside was a layer of warm fuzz. It had a black hood and black buttons down the front. She felt his hand on the small of her back, _woah,_ and she turned her head slightly to make her eyes even with his face.

"You like this one, lass?"

She nodded, "Yes, but it's expensive. Paying for new stuff for me isn't part of your job, Killian."

He shrugged, "It's part of my research."

He pulled it off of the rack and assisted her in putting it on; she slid her arms in and pulled it towards her neck. It fit perfectly. It was warm, warmer than anything she had ever worn. She hugged herself and closed her eyes, absorbing this feeling that started when she spotted the jacket. She took everything in, the warmth, the happiness that she was getting from just holding it and wearing it, and the feeling that someone actually cared for her.

Did he care for her? _No._ Stop it, Emma. This was all a big lie, just a stupid plan to fool her _parents_. None of it meant anything. She opened her eyes and made eye contact with him, his warm smile forming yet again. But, maybe he did care. _Even if it was just a little._ At least, he cared. Someone cared for her.

"Aye, it looks beautiful. I love the red leather." he said. She nodded and took it off, and the two walked over to the register.

 _That will be $52, please._ Emma froze in her stance and gave Killian a look that he knew exactly what it meant. He sent her a shrug and handed the woman the amount of money she asked for. He handed Emma the bag with her jacket in it and walked out of the store in silence.

"Killian, wait." She grabbed his arm and stopped him, spinning his body toward her, their faces aligned and their bodies a few inches away. Killian looked at her lips and then up to her eyes.

"Yes, love?"

"Why are you doing this?" she asked.

"I'm a gentleman?" he joked, "No, I just want everything to go as you plan it will go."

"Please don't go out of your way for me. I'm not worth it." she said as she began walking.

His mouth dropped.

 _She was worth it. Everyone was worth it._

"Let's go get you your shoes." he said, pushing her into yet another store. He picked out a pair of black combat boots that had a small layer of fur inside of them to keep her feet warm. She tried on her size; _Now she hadn't done something like this in ages._ In fact, she had never gone shoe shopping, not once. She smiled as the boot wrapped perfectly around her foot, how comfortably it fit, and how instantly warm her foot felt. She looked up to him with a big smile, which helped him understand that this was all she ever wanted: _happiness, care, love._ He helped her get them off and purchased them; they were only $20, which was good.

Emma was now carrying five bags in her hand.

"Okay, you stand here. I'll be right back." he slipped inside the town jeweler with a small smirk. Emma stood and leaned against the brick wall behind her, looking up to the cloudy sky.

It was probably going to snow.

After a few minutes, Killian came out, his hands empty.

"Why did you go in there if you didn't get anything?" she asked.

"Aye, love, you'll know soon enough." he laughed at her. They continued to walk before Emma came to a stop.

"This is my apartment building, let me go get my bags and then we can hit the road. It's a long drive." she said, pulling her key out.

Killian nodded and let her go. He looked up at the building; It was broken down and old, windows were patched up by boards, only three floors. She walked back out of the building with one small bag.

"That's it?" he said.

"It's everything I need." she shrugged and pulled out her car keys. She beeped the horn and his head flipped towards the street, revealing a bright yellow bug.

"That's yours?" he laughed.

She nodded and popped the trunk open, throwing her bag and her new clothing in it. She pulled her new jacket on and hoped in the front seat, and started the car. She rolled down the window and leaned on the passenger seat, yelling at him, "You coming or what?"

He laughed and hopped into the car beside her, buckling up as she drove down the road. It was a four hour drive, and they were in for a long time for bonding.

* * *

"So, when will you tell me your story, Emma Swan?" he turned his head to hers, "Who is Emma Swan?"

"Well, hmm, let's make it a game. At the end you'll know everything about me." she smiled.

"Deal. Everytime I do something _right_ you give me a detail?" he asked.

"Sure. Since you learned your information like I asked and bought me all this nice stuff, somehow proving that you're boyfriend material, I'll give you a little something." she said.

"Go ahead."

"I grew up in Boston, Massachusetts. My parents gave me up as a baby, why, don't know, hoping to find out. I was an orphan, lived in the system for a long time, never made any friends really, did all the hard work, didn't really eat or sleep." she shrugged.

"How did you get through it?"

"There was always something telling me to push through it. That I would make it through the day." she said.

"What was that?" he asked.

"A detail for another time." she smirked, "Who are you, Killian Jones?"

"Aye, me. My father died when I was a young boy. My brother and I grew up doing all the work around the house. My mother fell very ill when I turned 16. My brother, Liam, who is five years older than me, joined the military. My mother died of tuberculosis, my brother fought hard in the war and died by a sneak attack a year later. From that point on, I pledged that I would do anything to make them proud of me. Whatever it took." he said.

"So you became an actor?" she replied.

"Well, no, I-" he said, "That's for another time."

She let out an annoyed sigh as she pulled the car into the gas station.

* * *

It had been three hours already. Killian had just woken up from his short nap.

"Do you wanna try sleeping? I can drive." he asked her.

"Nope, I'm good."

He looked out the window and leaned on his hands.

"Why did you accept my job offer?" she spit out, stealing glances of him.

"I, uh, I'm not quite sure. You seemed like this meant a lot to you. I wasn't going to say no if it meant hurting you."

"Why would you care if you hurt me or not?" she said.

"I don't know, something just told me not to hurt you."

"And why are you being so nice? The reviews on your profile said you were a jerk." she said.

"Aye, yes. I am quite a nuisance, actually. I guess it just depends on the person that hires me, and what exactly they are hiring me to do." he shrugged, turning his head to the front of the vehicle, "Why do you pick me of all the men able to do this job?"

"I don't know. I just did." she said.

Of course she wasn't going to tell him that he was drop-dead gorgeous, with big muscles, a strong jawline, and the bluest eyes that you'd ever see.

 _Oh, no. Stop it, Emma. You cannot fall for him._

"Something just told ya to do it, eh?" he said.

She simply nodded as they saw the sign that said, 'Welcome to Storybrooke'.

 _Storybrooke._ She had never heard of the place, actually. It was different, she felt like she was coming home, even though she had never been there before. Something was urging her to stay and investigate, and something was telling her to immediately turn around. Her grip on the steering wheel grew stronger and Killian noticed.

"Are you okay?"

"Yup, just a little nervous, that's all." she insisted, "I've never talked to my _parents_ face to face. Only over the phone."

"Don't worry about it. You got this." he rubbed her shoulder.

She parked on the side of the road and shut the car off, letting out a long sigh and closing her eyes. Killian unbuckled and stepped out of the car, slamming the door behind him. She finally did the same, meeting him outside by the trunk to get their things. She opened the trunk, handing him some bags to carry and grabbing her own bags, before shutting the trunk and taking another deep breath. Her stomach dropped.

"Killian, I can't do this." she placed her bags on the ground and leaned against the car.

"Aye, but you can." he said. He grabbed her hand, interlocking their fingers, something that Emma had hoped he wouldn't do _this_ early. He handed her the bags she had put on the ground and grabebd his own, pulling her towards the door of the building. Killian told the lady at the desk that they were meeting Mary Margaret and David Nolan for Christmas. She gave him a key and told him their floor and room number. Emma just kept breathing heavily, holding Killian's hand even harder the closer they got to the door.

Eventually, they made it to their apartment, and everything was heightened. Emma's hands were shaking, her heart was beating fast, and Killian could feel it all.

"Calm down, love. Put your game face on." he said, nudging her a little bit. She finally built up enough strength to ring the doorbell.

The two heard footsteps coming closer before the door swung open and revealed a tall, strong man, with dark blonde hair and a thin layer of scruff on his face. He was dressed in a blue flannel, blue jeans, black sneakers, and a black jacket. This all adding to the huge smile on his face. Behind him stood a woman, petite and short, with a jet black pixie cut. She was wearing a pink shirt with a white cardigan, blue jeans, and black boots, also adding to the smile on her face.

"Emma?" the woman said.

"You're so beautiful." the man said.

The woman rushed past the man and wrapped her arms around Emma, tears falling from her eyes. The man did the same.

Killian backed away from the reunion happening in front of him, and just smiled at the happiness in the air. He looked at Emma, who surprisingly wasn't at all scared anymore. She was filled with joy, her cheeks full and rosy, her pearly white teeth showing more than they ever had before, and her eyes, oh her eyes; they were sparkling like the moon on a clear evening. She looked up to Killina and offered him a small smile, _it was worth coming inside._

David pulled himself and his wife off of Emma and couldn't stop smiling, "Don't kill her on her first day down here."

"I know, I'm just a little happy."

"Little is an understatement, honey." he replied.

"Hi, _mom_ , hi, _dad_." Emma said, letting a tear escape from her eye as their names rolled off of her tongue, "This is my boyfriend, Killian."

Emma grabbed his hands and yanked him to her side, wrapping her arm around his waist and hugging him, and leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Nice to finally meet you two." he said, reaching out his hand to shake hers.

"Yes, what a pleasure." Mary Margaret said, as he kissed her knuckles, "Please, come in."

The four walked into the apartment; it was beautiful. It felt so comfortable just standing inside for a few seconds. The tree was big and beautiful, stockings hung across the fireplace, warm cookies on the table, hot chocolate brewing in the kitchen. Lights were hung across the banister of the stairs, which led up to the two bedrooms they had. Emma stood, amazed at the view. She had never felt so safe and secure than she did right now, in her parents' house.

"You have a lovely home," Killian said.

"Why, thank you, I try my best in my free time. Wanna see the guest room, where you two will stay?"

 _Crap._ She forgot she had to share a room with him. _Killian and Emma, isn the same room, in the same bed? Crap, indeed._

Killian grabbed Emma's bags and followed Mary Margaret up to their room, whilst David sat down on the couch with Emma.

"You've grown up so beautifully, I am so proud of you." he said.

"Thank you, it's really great to finally meet you."

"Emma, you need to know that giving you up was not something on our agenda." he said, touching her hand, "We were in a rough state and things were going downhill from there."

"Believe me, I understand. No worries, really." she replied.

"You seem so happy, do you have a job? What's it like? Where do you live now? How's the weather over there? Are you enjoying Storybrooke so far?" David said.

"Woah, _dad_ , one question at a time. Of course I have a job, I, uh," she started to think, "I'm an actress. I do the community theater shows and I am starting to audition for bigger and better things. I love it, it's so fun. I live up in Boston, Massachusetts. And it's uh, pretty nice weather year round, except when it gets super cold, then I have to worry." She laughed.

"And Storybrooke?"

"It seems like a nice, quiet town. Very comfortable and homey." she replied.

"Did you start without me?" Mary Margaret yelled as she and Killian came back down the stairs, "David get up and let the young man sit next to his girlfriend!"

David laughed and did what he was told, allowing KIllian to sit next to his fake girlfriend, landing one of his hand on her knee and rubbing it lightly. She noticed this and _this movement_ was not part of the act. It was most definitely not part of what they discussed, yet he was doing it.

"So tell me about yourself, Kilian what do _you_ do for a living?" David asked.

"Don't interrogate the man!" Mary Margaret said.

"It's fine, really. I actually am attending school right now to become an oceanologist. I love the ocean and the animals, I just wanted to do something I could do forever." he said.

"Wow, Emma, a successful man, I like him." David said.

"How long have you been in school for?" Mary Margaret asked.

"I went for 2 years a while back and stopped because of some family issues, now I am back in the groove and have been for another 2, so I only have about 1 more to go." he smiled at her.

"Beautiful! And Emma?" Mary Margaret said.

"Like I told _dad_ , I am an actress." she said.

"Oh! Wow! So much talent in this room here!" she clapped.

"What are you making in the oven, if you don't mind me asking, it smells so good?" Killian asked.

"My world's famous pumpkin pie." she replied, standing up and walking over to the oven.

"Believe me, it's delicious." David added.

Killian laughed, "Maybe you can teach Emma how to cook, all we ever eat is pasta and meatloaf, sometimes chicken. Or we just go out."

Emma laughed and nudged Killian in the ribs, "Maybe you can teach the both of us."

"What do you guys do on your free time?" Emma asked.

"I do a lot of gardening, I love to read, plus I'm a teacher at the elementary school down the street." Mary Margaret said.

"What do you teach?" Killian asked.

"Everything." she laughed.

"I'm the town sheriff." David said, "what a job that is."

"Is it hard, like, do things actually happen in a small town like this?" Emma asked.

"Sometimes, no, not really. The job is quite easy, actually. I really am your stereotypical sheriff, eating donuts on my free time." David laughed.

"How long have you two been married for?" Killian said, wrapping his arm around Emma.

"This will be our fifteenth year on the 30th." David rubbed Mary Margaret's leg.

"How long have you two been together?" Mary Margaret asked.

Killian smiled at Emma, internally saying _I've got this_ , "Eight months."

Emma bit her lip and laughed inside, yelling to herself _thank god he remembered._

"David, can you grab the pie out of the oven for me?" Mary Margaret asked, "Oh, I forgot to tell you."

"What?" Emma asked.

"Christmas is usually a huge thing in a small town like this, so we usually have bigger get togethers, however, this year, since you are finally here, we decided to have something a little smaller," Mary Margaret said, "There's only two more people coming, they should be here any minute."

"The more the merrier!" Killian said. Emma stood from the couch and walked over to David, starting a conversation that Killian couldn't quite make out. He turned his head and saw Mary Margaret staring at him with a huge smile. She looked like she had a huge secret to tell but she couldn't tell it.

"Do you love her?" she whispered to him.

A lump in his throat formed. Love? Killian didn't know what love really meant. He only thought he felt it once, way back when he was in highschool with a girl named Milah. They spent every minute together; they were together for 2 years. He was considering proposing, until something terrible happened. She cheated on him. He had no more room for love in his heart after that incident. He never wanted anything to ever remind him on Milah ever again. That is - until he met Emma Swan. _God_ \- she made him feel like a new man. Everything about her; her smile, her laugh, the bright red shade her cheeks would turn if he said something, even her slight insecurity about how much worth she had.

 _But no,_ This is a job. He couldn't fall for her. He couldn't fall for anyone. Not again.

"Why, yes, of course I do." he spit out.

"Well, that's good." she whispered back as David and Emma came back and joined them in sitting.

"How did you two meet?" David asked.

"Well, I went to see one of her shows actually, not intending to have a good time, actually. I lost a bet with my friends and their way of 'punishing' me was to make me go see a show. Of course I never intended to actually enjoy it or the woman starring in it, but ya know, things happen." Killian said.

"After the show, he came up to me and handed me a bouquet of red roses. A note was attached to it, asking to meet for dinner the next night. I told him that it was closing night so I couldn't make it, so he took my phone out of my hands and put his contact in it," Emma smiled at him, "And then he came to the closing night show, asking me to go out the next night."

"And she finally said yes." Killian kissed her cheek.

 _What the hell just happened?_

 _He_ kissed _her._

"And now here we are." Emma smiled and landed her hand on his, clawing his pam with her fingernails.

The four heard a doorbell.

"That's simply adorable." Mary Margaret said before standing and opening the door.

A woman with rich, chocolate brown hair, cut just below her shoulder, dressed in a black pencil skirt and burgundy blouse with knee high boots and black stockings stepped through the door. She had a big smile on, revealing her perfect teeth; this adding on to her well-done makeup, and her eyes that sparkled like there was a burning desire in them. She kissed Mary Margaret's cheek and came over to David, hugging him tightly. A young man followed her, dressed in blue jeans, a red flannel, and black sneakers. His hair was combed to the side with his fingers, and he wore a big smile as well. He looked about twelve, maybe thirteen at the most, and was carrying a gameboy. He hugged Mary Margaret and David and then walked up to Killian, shaking his hand. The woman walked over to Emma, Emma stood up, reaching out her hand to greet her.

"I'm Henry." the boy said to Killian, Emma hearing and smiling at him.

"Killian Jones, and this is Emma." Killian replied.

"And I'm Regina Mills." she stuck out her hand to shake Emma's offering a small smile with it.

 _Regina Mills?_

 _The woman she gave her baby to?_

 _Shit._

* * *

 **A/N: Well, here's chapter one. I hope you enjoyed it. Leave a review, I always answer them! Kisses!**


	3. Love Hurts

**A/N: Here is the second chapter, it's a lot of dialogue, but it really helps you get a better understanding of what is truly happening here. Some feels, maybe not lots, but a little. Enjoy and review it.**

* * *

 **Two** : Love Hurts

Emma froze as the woman introduced herself.

" _I'm Regina Mills."_

What the hell was she supposed to do? Honestly, she didn't even know. She couldn't think. Her eyes grew big and she forced a smile, before returning her hands to behind her back. Her body stiffened as the young boy sat down next to Killian, showing him how to play whatever game he was playing. Henry had grown up so well, probably better than he would have if she raised him. Whether or not she liked this Regina Mills didn't matter, the only thing that mattered was that he was happy. And he looked happy.

His smile on his face when he won the game, or when Killian cracked a stupid joke about the device he was playing on, or when Mary Margaret said the pie was finished, just made Emma happy. To think that he could live a life of pure joy, to grow up as a regular kid; that was good enough for her.

However, this _Regina Mills_ , Emma had to figure her out. Emma was always one to "figure" people out. She always dug around and discovered who they truly were, what they hid, and what they showed. She could tell when someone was lying or telling the truth - that was her major "superpower". Her eyes thinned as they followed Regina around the room, never taking a break to spot that Killian was sending her a death stare.

"Emma, love, if I were you, I'd fix your eyes." he smiled and rubbed her shoulder.

"I'm not in the mood right now, Killian, you seriously shouldn't tick me off."

"What's wrong? We've only been here for a half hour." he turned to her in concern. _True concern._

"Long story, no time to tell. Just please, leave me alone," she stood from the couch and started to walk away, but Killian grabbed her wrist and stopped her. She instantly reacted to his touch, pulling her wrist away from his grasp and holding it close to her.

"Where are you going?" he said, his mouth wide open.

"I need air," she rolled her eyes, "Tell them I forgot something in the car."

"Emma, please, talk to me-"

"Killian, we aren't friends, there's no reason for me to have to talk to you." she said, rushing out of the apartment and slamming the door behind her.

 _We aren't friends_ , the words flew around his head and played over and over again like a broken record. He stood there in the middle of the living room, his mouth wide open, and for some odd reason, his heart dropping. This is what he gets for trying to let someone in. He thought that they had started a new relationship, not necessarily and strong, healthy one, but still something. A friendship. He needed her to trust him, and to open up to him, but as far as she is going, it won't be happening anytime soon.

"Why'd she leave, Killian?" David walked over to him in concern.

"Aye, she just forgot something in the car." Killian spit out, avoiding the man's eye contact.

"And she needed it right this moment?"

"I guess so, I can go check on her if you want?" Killian suggested.

"Please, and hurry back. You'll miss the pie!" he laughed as he playfully pushed Killian out of the door.

Killian walked down the stairs and sat down on the last one. He couldn't go out there. She didn't want him near her. They weren't friends. She was his employer - that's it. Nothing more.

But he still had to try. She was _worth_ another try.

He stood from the stair and made his way out of the building, looking around for Emma. There was no sign of her.

He ran around the corner, "Emma!"

He walked down the sidewalk and continued to look around, "Swan!" he yelled, but there was no answer. Killian stopped when he saw Emma's blonde curls from across the street. She was sitting on bench in the middle of, what it looked like, town square. He crossed the street and sat down beside her. Not a word was spoken.

"What do you want, Killian?" she crossed her arms and continued to look out to the lake.

"You know, if it was me who was upset, I'd come here too." he said.

She didn't answer him.

"The water kind of calms me. I use it as a cool down when I'm angry or upset. It really helps," he said, "Try it, come here."

Killian grabbed her hand and pulled her to the bridge that ran over the lake. He put her against the ledge and told her to lean over and look at it.

"This isn't helping, Killian." she groaned.

"Looked harder, what do you see?"

Suddenly, like on cue, two swans swam from under the bridge and past them. She smiled and then looked up at him, "Swans."

"Swans, exactly. How do you feel?" he asked her.

She shrugged and turned her body around so that her back was against the ledge. Emma crossed her arms and let out a long sigh.

"What happened in there?" he asked.

"Killian, I don't need to-"

"No, you don't need to, but if you ever want to, know I am here to talk. I've been through tough stuff too, Emma, I can help. Maybe I haven't been through exactly what you are going through, but it helps to at least talk to someone," he said, turning to her, "And before you say it, 'We're not friends', well, frankly, we could be. You need to open yourself up to people. You can't just shut everyone out."

She hugged herself tighter, "I don't try to, but my walls instantly go up. I can't trust just anyone, Killian. Everyone I've ever trusted let me down, my parents, my ex boyfriend, even myself. I can't even trust myself."

He rubbed her shoulder and she looked up to him. Her cheeks and nose were bright red from the cold and the tear that escaped from her eye was almost frozen on her cheek. She scooted towards him and wrapped an arm around his waist, almost an instinct, and hugged him tightly.

"Come on, we're missing pie." he said.

She laughed and wiped her eyes, "We can't miss that."

She separated their bodies and smiled at him before they crossed the street and started back for the apartment building around the corner. Emma had suddenly felt slightly better; Killian had helped her calm down. They made it back and walked in together, Killian holding the door for Emma and everyone watching as they walked inside. Emma whispered something to Killian before he laughed.

"Forgot something in the car." Emma said.

"She actually forgot that she didn't forget something in the car, so she went outside for nothing." he winked at her. Everyone laughed except Henry.

"I don't get it." Henry said, causing yet another round of laughter. Mary Margaret cut into the pie and served everyone a slice.

* * *

Later that evening, Henry had gone to bed, and the adults were still up and sipping some wine.

"Regina, will you be staying the night? We have plenty of room." David said.

"Well, Henry is already asleep, so I guess so. But I don't want to intrude on your family time." she said.

"It's no problem, really, right Emma?" Mary Margaret said.

"Not an issue at all." Emma forced a smile on her face. David called for Killian to help him in the attic for a second. Killian kissed Emma's hand before he left upstairs with David.

"I'll go prepare a room for you." Mary Margaret said. Regina smiled graciously as they two remaining women watched Mary Margaret leave the room.

Emma gulped down the rest of her wine and stared at the fireplace, "So, Henry. He's a fine, young man."

"Thank you, I tried my best to raise him right." Regina said.

"Where's the father?" Emma asked. Regina almost spit out the wine she had in her mouth before Emma realized how badly that just sounded, "No, I didn't mean it like that-"

"Henry was adopted." she said.

"Does he know?"

"Of course he knows, I don't keep anything from my son." Regina shrugged.

 _Her son. Goddammit._

"Does he know who his real parents are?" Emma asked, sipping the rest of Killian's leftover wine.

Regina placed her empty glass on the coffee table and leaned back against her chair, "I'm sure he has tried, but I was told those records would be sealed and kept away from anyone. I don't even know who his real parents are, the adoption center wouldn't even tell _me,_ and _I'm_ the one who adopted him."

"They didn't tell you anything about them? What about Henry's birthplace?" Emma said.

"All I know is that it was somewhere in Massachusetts." Regina shrugged.

"Boston," Emma swallowed the last drop of Killian's wine and placed the empty glass next to Regina's on the coffee table.

"I'm sorry, what?" Regina leaned on her elbows.

"Boston, Massachusetts, that's where he was born." Emma avoided her eye contact and looked at the fireplace, "Do you think they have any more wine? You're gonna need it."

"You don't even know us, how would you know where he was born?" Regina stood up from her seat and crossed her arms.

"Simple," Emma shrugged, "I'm his mother."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm Henry's birth mother." Emma stood and held out her hand, "Hi."

"This is not a joke, Miss Swan." Regina ignored her hand.

"No joke, all truth. I gave birth to him in Boston, gave him away to some lady named 'Regina Mills', which happens to be you. Believe me, I didn't expect this either," Emma grabbed the empty glasses and placed them in the sink, "Funny how fate works, huh?"

"How could that be? Why did you give him away?" Regina said.

Emma bit her lip and turned to Regina. Emma's eyes instantly filled with water, a tear falling down her cheek, "The same reason my parents gave me away; It was a rough time for me."

"That's no excuse for giving away a child. You're supposed to put them before you." Regina said, walking towards her.

"I had to give Henry his best chance, and that, yeah," she laughed and wiped her eyes, "That wasn't with me."

"What am I going to tell Henry?" Regina sighed in frustration.

Emma held her hands up, "Don't tell him at all. I only told you because you cared so well for him, and I thought you'd like to know his origin. Killian doesn't know, my parents don't even know."

"I don't keep things from my son, Miss Swan!" Regina yelled at her.

"No, you don't keep things from _my_ son."

 _That was the wrong move, Emma. And you know it. You just made things worse._

"He is by no means _your_ son. He may have your genetics, but you're the one who gave him away because you couldn't handle it! You couldn't give a crap enough to care for a child!" Regina yelled.

"You have no idea what you're talking about, Regina." Emma stated.

"No, Miss Swan. _You_ have no idea what you're talking about." she groaned back.

Mary Margaret came down the stairs holding a stack of blankets, "Regina, I-"

Regina sighed angrily before rushing toward the door, "I need some air."

Then she was gone.

* * *

David and Killian came back and saw Emma sitting on the couch by herself, her hands intertwined and her elbows leaning on her knees. She stared at the fireplace with intensity; something was wrong. Killian threw the dirty towel from whatever they were doing to David and walked over to Emma, landing a hand on her back and rubbing it a little.

"Killian, what did I say about touching me and talking to me when I'm upset?" Emma said. Killian ignored her comment and grabbed her hand, pulling her up beside him and yanking her toward the stairs.

"I think we'll be going to bed now, see you in the morning, David." Killian waved to him.

Killian pulled Emma up the stairs and to their shared room, plopping her on the bed and shutting the door behind them. He gave her a look before her whipped out a blanket from his carry-on and sprawled it across the floor. Then he grabbed a pillow from the bed and threw it towards the top of the blanket. Killian pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his chiseled abs and strong biceps, quickly pulling on another t-shirt. He then grabbed a pair of black sweatpants before he stepped into the closet and switched his pants too. Emma gave him an awkward look.

She stood from the bed and walked over to the dresser where she had stored her clothes earlier and pulled out a pair of black shorts and a purple t-shirt. She instructed him to turn around while she changed. When she was finished, she returned to the spot he plopped her a few minutes ago and crossed her arms.

"Are you calm yet?" he asked, sitting next to her.

"What the hell were you doing?" she said.

"You obviously don't want to share a bed with me, so the floor it comfortable enough." he shrugged. Emma rolled her eyes and let her body fall down to the bed, staring up to the ceiling. He lied down next to her and nudged her arm.

"Talk to me Emma."

"There's nothing to talk about." She said.

"Come on," he said, leaning up on his elbow and looking towards her, placing his free hand on her arms.

She flinched away from him and turned the opposite way, then she sprung her body up and walked to the door, "God, stop it Killian!."

He sat up and gave her a confused look, what did he do wrong?

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you, Emma?"

"You! Stop touching me, we are behind closed doors, no one is judging us anymore. For God' sake, just stop trying so hard!" she yelled at him.

"If you don't lower your voice, everyone in the entire town will hear you." he replied.

"Stop trying to help me, we both know that you're only here for my payment! Stop acting like we're friends!" she said, turning to the door.

"Emma, I understand you're in a vulnerable state, but don't lash out on me-"

"This is what I'm talking about, Killian. Stop acting like you care. I know you don't," she turned to him, "Can I tell you something?"

He had no words, he just simply nodded before she came next to him and sat down on the bed. She sighed and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, please don't take any of that personally."

"It's fine, lass. I've been through worse." he replied.

"I have something to confess, and no matter how terribly you are shocked or want to go and tell the world, you need to promise not to repeat it to anyone. Only one other person knows." Emma sighed once more. He held out his pinky and pinky sweared her.

"I am Henry's mother." she let out. His mouth dropped and his eyes found hers; she was covered deep in loss and desperation, despair and fear.

"Emma, I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be, I'm the one who gave him away. And he's grown into such a lovely man, but I feel so uncomfortable and vulnerable having the woman I gave him away to in the same house. We argued a few hours ago actually, I don't even know if she has told Henry already."

"Do you want her to tell Henry?" he asked.

She shook her head. _No_ \- of course not, she wanted him to continue living his happy life without hearing the news that she had to give him up because she couldn't care correctly for him in a jail cell. That his actual mother went to jail after being betrayed by her boyfriend, after growing up in a terrible system where no one cared, after robbing that stupid corner store. _If_ anyone would tell him, she'd want it to be herself, so she could at least explain.

But by now, she was sure Regina had said something to him. Whether or not what she said was good or bad, that is the question.

"I would comfort you, but-"

"Please just do." she said, leaning her head on his shoulder and letting him wrap his arms around her body. Her body sunk into his, her tears wetting his t-shirt, and her heart simply calming down just as it did at the lake earlier that day.

They sat there for a few minutes before Emma pulled away from him, wiping her eyes and sniffling, "You still get the floor."

"Of course." he smiled that stupid grin from when they met and left her to go to his bed on the floor. He tucked himself in and closed his eyes as she shut the light off and tucked herself in the bed. From that moment on, Emma was _sure_ that Killian cared for her. _At least a little bit_.

* * *

The next morning, it was snowing.

Emma woke up and shuffled around in the bed, rubbing her eyes and yawning. She looked up to the ceiling before she fully sat up and looked to the ground for Killian, but he wasn't there. She stood from the bed and threw her hair in a ponytail before getting dressed in blue jeans and that black cardigan and white shirt he had gotten her. She slipped into their bathroom and started to brush her teeth, before she applied her makeup. Emma then left the bathroom and walked down the stairs.

David and Mary Margaret were in the kitchen making pancakes and Regina was sitting watching TV. She greeted her parents and nodded towards Regina, only to be ignored.

"Where's Killian?"

"Outside with Henry." David yelled to her. Emma grabbed her red leather jacket and left the three in the apartment, making her way down the stairs and out of the building. She spotted Henry across the street at the park, hidden behind a bench. She walked over to him and bent down next to him whispering in his ear, "Whatcha' doin kid?"

He flinched when he heard her voice and he shushed her, "Shhh. I'm hiding."

"From who, Killian?"

"I hear you, mate." Killian said as his voice got closer. Henry covered Emma's mouth with his hand and grabbed a snowball with the other. He then stood up and threw it square in Killian face. To his surprise, Emma also stood up and threw a snowball at him, hitting him in the chest, right next to where his heart is. He grabbed his chest as if he was shot and yelled at them.

"2 vs. 1? Where the fairness in that?" He said.

"I'm a kid, and I'm cuter than you." Henry shrugged as he grabbed Emma's hand and pulled her behind the park sign. She stuck her head out and yelled at Killian, "He's not wrong, he's cuter than you."

"You'll pay for that, Swan!"

Killian started to throw snowballs at the sign before Emma yelled to him, "You know snowballs don't go through signs, honey?"

He rolled his eyes before he ran to the sign and threw a snowball at Emma's shoulder. She stepped in front of Henry and told him to run as she picked up tons of snow and threw it at Killian.

"Henry, save yourself!" Emma called. Killian grabbed Emma's arms and pushed her to the ground, them twisting in the air, and her falling on top of him.

"Guess the universe is on my side?" she laughed and pushed herself up, running to Henry and meeting him behind the playground slide. Killian rolled his eyes and he got up from the pile of snow, juggling two snowballs in his hands. He walked over to their base and knelt down on one knee, holding his hands up in the air as if he surrendered.

Henry walked over to him and nodded before he took a snowball and crushed it over Killian's head. Emma did the same and winked at Killian before Killian ran and grabbed Henry, wrestling him in the snow.

"Not fair! You surrendered!" Henry laughed.

"You can't trust everyone, mate." Killian laughed before Emma pulled Henry out of there and they all took a deep breath.

"You have a lot of energy for someone as old as you." Henry said to Killian.

"I'm only 29, Henry." Killian said, his breath trying to catch up to him.

"Exactly, and I'm 10. Yet, I get the woman on my team, that says something, huh?" he laughed at him and looked towards Emma, who was smiling bigger than she had ever smiled. Killian looked to her too, and he then he saw it - _pure happiness_.

Emma nodded before she stood up fully and told Henry that it was time to go get breakfast. He nodded in response and said, "You're pretty cool, Emma."

"Hear that, Killian?" she turned her head to him, "I'm pretty cool."

"Killian's okay, too." Henry laughed as the three walked back across the street and back to the apartment building. They made their way up the stairs and into the apartment, Henry running in and jumping around with excitement, and Killian and Emma walking in, still wiping the snow off of them.

David turned to them and ran up to Henry, high fiving him and laughing, "What did you guys do out there?"

Regina turned and stood from the couch.

"We had the best time ever! First, me and Killian were out there but then Emma came, and she joined my team of course, because I was cuter than Killian she said, and then me and her beat him in a snowball battle, then he fake surrendered and attacked us, so I guess technically, he won, but it's okay because I had so much fun." Henry said as David helped him out of his snow gear.

Regina walked over to him and fixed his hair, "Are you okay though, you didn't get hurt?"

"Of course not, Mom, I had a great time!" Henry said, running up the stairs and leaving all the adults downstairs.

 _Mom._ Oh - how it felt to hear him say that to Regina. It hurt Emma so badly, but the hurt was being sucked up by the love she just gained. The love for _her_ son that she just gained playing with him in the snow. The love that he gave to her.

Killian wrapped his arms around Emma's shoulder because he knew that she was hurting, "Let's go get fixed up for breakfast."

Emma nodded and the two made their way up to their room to change.

* * *

 **A/N: Awe, review?**


	4. A Mistake, I Think Not

**A/N: Hello! Here's the third chapter and might I say, you'll enjoy it! Leave me some opinions or ideas you want me to put in here. Follow me on my social media pages and tweet or DM me! I'll answer anything!**

 **Enjoy this chapter. XOXO**

* * *

 **Three** : A Mistake, I Think Not

Emma unbuttoned her drenched shirt and peeled it off her body before searching the drawer for another clean shirt. She groaned when she came to the realization that her clothes were dirty and in the washing machine. She heard a knock on the door, her head quickly snapping towards the sound, and then heard a voice.

"May I come in, Swan?" Killian's voice sounded kind and caring. Emma's eyes grew big when she almost said yes, quickly wrapping her mind around her missing clothing and not around Killian.

She yelled back, "I'm having a little issue, hold on."

Emma ran to her bag and pulled out a blanket that she was keeping for a colder night. She wrapped it around her shoulders and closed the drawer with her hip before tightening her grip on the blanket and going to the door. She stuck one hand out and opened it, allowing Killian to take in everything he was seeing.

"Do you, uh, need a shirt?" he asked. Her cheeks grew a deep red from embarrassment before he slid past her and went into his drawer, pulling out a dark blue long sleeve shirt and handing it to her. She cocked her head to the side in confusion and then realized what he was proposing she do. Without saying a word, she shook her head and pushed it back to his chest, her hand landing right above the abs she could feel under his soaked shirt. They tightened under her touch and her mouth dropped open when she dropped the shirt to the floor and returned her hand to under the blanket.

"Emma, just wear the bloody shirt." he suggested in a more demanding tone, but still kept that stupid grin he always wore.

"I can't-"

"Just put it on," he shrugged and turned to his drawer to pull out some sweatpants and a sweatshirt for himself before turning back to her, "Unless you want everyone downstairs to see your, um, everything."

She rolled her eyes and bent down ever so cautiously to grab the shirt she dropped a few seconds ago before leaving the room and locking herself in the bathroom.

Emma dropped the blanket to the floor and pulled Killian's shirt over her head. It smelt like him.

 _Stop it._

She shook her head and looked down to her hand; her fingers were still burning from the contact they had with his abs. She sighed contently and looked at herself in the mirror. Emma saw something she had never seen before in herself, some little piece of hope that never existed.

 _Or maybe it did exist, and she just didn't know it._

She shut the light off and returned to the room where Killian was sitting on the bed and waiting for her. His head spun to her and his stupid grin formed before a small chuckle came right after. She threw the blanket at his face and began laughing too, before the two heard David call for breakfast.

Killian held the door for Emma before the two made their way down the stairs and to the dining table, where they greeted everyone once again.

* * *

David spun around and planted a kiss on Mary Margaret's cheek before flipping a pancake in the air and having to land square on his plate. He turned the stove off and placed a few pancakes on Henry's plate before putting one on Regina's, his, and Mary Margaret's plate, and then leaving the plate with a few pancakes between Emma and Killian's plates. Emma trudged down the stairs, her head turned back towards Killian and her eyes never leaving his. A smile grew on her face as he told her a stupid joke. He came and met her leveled on the floor before his hand found the small of her back and his stupid grin formed on his face.

Emma allowed his hand to stay there as she recognized everyone sitting at the table and staring at the two. She then put her hand on his wrist and lightly pulled his hand away from her back, before letting go and walking towards the table without looking at Killian. He followed her and pulled her chair out for her, then pushing her into the table afterwards. She got herself a pancake and handed one to Killian as well before their hands brushed slight contact.

"These pancakes are delicious!" Henry said.

"Thank you, there's a secret ingredient in there." David smiled and rubbed Henry's head. Emma looked up at Henry and a small smile formed on her face before she continued to eat her pancake.

"Well, what is it?" Henry asked.

"Yeah, what is it, honey?" Mary Margaret chipped in. David looked around the table and leaned in.

"It's," he smiled, "It's a secret." Henry let out a laugh and then his eyes met Emma's, their gazes holding for a little bit and then the link breaking.

They all laughed, except for Regina, who was still cutting her food and avoiding anyone's eye contact. She finally looked up and stared at Emma, with some sort of anger in her eyes, and then her eyes traveled down to Emma and Killian's hands, which were lying on top of one another on the table. She rolled her eyes and continued to eat. At this point, Regina was just annoyed with EMma, and everything Emma did. She didn't want Emma in Henry's life or to ruin everything Henry and her had built since she adopted him.

Henry quickly said, "I just noticed something. Why don't we have a tree up in here? I mean, it isn't Christmas without a tree!"

Emma took her hand away from Killian's and took a sip of her hot cocoa before adding in, "I say we go get one."

"Aye. I agree with you, lad, it's all part of the Christmas spirit." Killian said. He turned his head to Emma who was slightly blushing and then grabbed her hand once more. Emma was slowly getting used to the hand grabbing and hand holding and hand brushing and the little spurs of heat or chills that she'd get when they touched. She was getting used to the the tingle she felt when her fingers brushed over Killian's biceps or the knots in her stomach when he complimented her, or even the warmth and redness that rushed to her cheeks when they met each other's gazes. She looked over her shoulder in the corner of her eye and let a small smile form on her face; something about Killian was trying to tear her walls down. And _that_ \- she feared would be the cause of destruction.

David and Mary Margaret shrugged and smiled, before David spoke, "I guess that's what we're doing today."

Regina stood from the table and cleaned up her area, Henry, Killian, and the Nolans following her. She came back to the table and sat down next to Emma, her hands tucked in her pockets and her face straight. Regina crossed her legs and turned to Emma. They stared at each other for a few seconds while Emma sipped her tea and just let out a small laugh before Regina spoke.

"I have taken time to think about this." she said.

"About what?" Emma turned to her.

"Henry." Regina crossed her arms and leaned back.

"What about him?" Emma asked.

"I'm not going to tell him that your his birth mother, but there is no way in hell that you will act like the mother you will never be. _You_ gave him up. You cannot keep playing in the snow like he's _your_ son, because he's not," she sighed, "He's _mine_."

"Regina, I want him to know that he can trust me and come to me if that's what he needs-"

"No, that's what I'm for, Miss Swan. _I'm_ his mother. Thank you, but no thank you. You can continue treating him with the decency you are but you cannot try to build some sort of relationship or whatever it is you're trying to do, and then tell him. I won't allow it." Regina sassed.

"Alright, Regina. Whatever you say, he is _your_ son." Emma stood and cleaned her area before heading up the stairs to grab her jacket and then to meet everyone in the lobby. She went to the table that stood next to the bed and opened the drawer. Inside was a small hatch that she pulled open and grabbed a small envelope out of. She closed the drawer and sat down on the bed, opening the envelope. A tear fell down her cheek as she pulled out the picture of Henry as a baby, that she managed to sneak just before he was taken away from her in jail. SHe sniffled and wiped her cheeks as she shoved the picture back in the envelope and stuck it back in the drawer, before closing it and running to the door. Emma took a deep breath and fixed her face and hair before slipping outside the door and going down the stairs.

Emma came to join the group and wrapped her arm with Killian's before David spoke, "Alright, Regina, Henry, you guys can come in our car that way we don't have to take three cars, and Emma and Killian can have some alone time."

"Mom, can I please go with Emma and Killian?" Henry said, pulling on Regina's sleeve and begging. She shook her head no at first and then looked at the boy's face.

"Henry, I-" she began to say, "I'm sure they want their own time. They don't need an extra person to look out for."

"It's fine with us if the lad wants to hitch a ride." Killian smiled.

"Yeah, we have plenty of room," Emma chipped in, "What do you say Henry?"

Henry jumped in the air and smiled big before running to the yellow bug and hopping in the back seat. Killian followed him and started the car before getting into the passenger seat. Emma looked towards Regina, who's mouth was still hanging wide open, completely surprised by her son's decision to go with Emma. Emma laughed and zippered her jacket, saying, "See you there in a few."

She then left the three in the lobby and got into the car.

Mary Margaret placed a hand on Regina's arm and said, "It's just a boy thing. Henry wanted to hang out with the cool guy, no worries."

"I'm cool." David said. Mary Margaret nudged him in the ribs before Regina turned and nodded. The three made their way to the truck and started for the tree shop that was a few streets away.

* * *

"Alright, lad, so what's the real reason you wanted in on this ride?" Killian laughed and looked at Henry in the mirror.

"Well, you guys are much cooler than the others. They're older and don't get me as much." Henry shrugged. Emma laughed and looked at the boy through the mirror.

"Well, I guess that means you like us?" Emma laughed.

"Of course! You guys are so cool! Like Darth Vader cool or like Superman cool!" Henry said.

"Thank you, lad." Killian smiled and looked back at him.

"Why don't you guys have any kids? You would be great parents." Henry said as he looked out the window.

And _that_ hit her. It hit her like a truck. All of her emotions started to pour out of her body, everything she had ever concealed and kept from everyone started to try to make its way out of her. SHe gripped the steering wheel harder and sniffled a little bit, trying so very hard to keep the tears from flooding her face. She quickly put up her walls higher than they ever were before, and built them with the strongest bricks she could find buried in her mind. That was it.

"This is it." Emma pulled into the parking lot and parked in the closest spot before shutting the car off and unlocking the doors. She pulled a light gray beanie over her head and put on a pair of gray gloves that had the fingertips cut out. Killian wrapped his scarf another time around his neck and pulled a hat on his head as well. Henry stood from the back seat and was about to run before Emma stopped him and bent down in front of him. She smiled and brushed his hair to the side with her fingers.

"You gotta stay warm, kid." she said as she placed a scarf around his neck; it was gray and red striped. She also placed a red hat on his head and gave him a pair of gloves that Mary Margaret had bought for him earlier that week. He nodded and hugged her before running towards the trees.

Emma stood still, still bent down in her place. Killian walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, "I know you're stunned, but make it a little less obvious, would ya?"

She shook her head and stood, brushing the snow off of her pants and nodding before the two crossed the street and started their search in trees.

Not too soon after, Mary Margaret, David and Regina came in and met them, asking where Henry was. Henry came running behind them and out of breath said, "There's so many trees here!"

Regina turned to her son and bent down, "Where did you get all this stuff?"

"Emma gave it to me. I was going to get cold if she didn't." Henry smiled and yanked Regina's hand towards the aisle of tall trees. David grabbed Mary Margaret's hand and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"We're going to go get some drinks, see you in a few?" Emma said. The couple nodded and made their way to the aisle of smaller trees.

"Drinks?" Killian laughed. Emma rolled her eyes and hit him playfully, "I mean like coffee and hot cocoa. I'm cold."

Killian nodded and smirked, "No problem, let's get you warm."

He pushed her in front of him until they made it to the little drink building where they walked inside and were completely absorbed by the sudden warmth. The heat felt so good on every part of their bodies. Emma unzippered her jacket and guided him to a booth in the corner of the room, where they ordered a coffee and a hot chocolate with whip cream and cinnamon.

"Cinnamon?" Killian said.

"Just a little something I enjoy." Emma smiled as a waitress placed their drinks on the table.

"So whatever happened to our little game?" Killian leaned onto the table and sipped his coffee, "If I do something right, you give me a detail about who you are?"

"Well, I told you about me being an orphan, and having Henry, being his birth mother, blah blah blah." Emma sipped her drink and then looked up at him, "I'll let you in on a little secret. But you can't tell anyone."

"Your secret's safe with me, love."

"I've been arrested two times in my entire life. One for robbing a corner store, which was a completely stupid move with my ex-friend when we were 15. The other, for almost robbing a bank for an elopement." Emma said before sipping her drink some more.

"Elopement?"

"This guy, Neal Cassidy. He was my first real love, I guess you could call it. But then again it wasn't really love. I was stealing money for our elopement and the cops only caught me, not him," Emma said, "He's Henry's father."

"Aye."

"That's all you have to say? Not even going to leave because you're dealing with a criminal? Not even going to say anything about the crimes I did or ask why I did them?" Emma said.

"Emma, love, I don't care who you were back then. It's the past. Everyone's got something to hide, and I'm glad that you trust me enough to let yours out. I like who you are. Even if it's not who you were back then." Killian shrugged and continued to sip

his coffee.

 _Trust._

That sounded nice.

It felt great to finally _trust_ someone.

She felt her cheeks grow a light pink and a small smile try to form on her face before Henry came running in and stopping in front of them.

"We found the perfect tree. Come on!" he said.

Killian pulled out his wallet and left a ten dollar bill on the table before grabbing Emma's hand and yanking her to run with him behind the young boy. She laughed and nearly spilt her drink on him as they ran even faster to in finally round a corner and come to a sudden stop in front of the perfect tree. Killian looked up at it in awe and then looked at Emma, who was more stunned than ever.

She had never had a Christmas tree. Never had gone tree shopping. Never had the Christmas spirit or the motivation to get any. Never had anyone to spend Christmas with. Never had Christmas itself.

She looked towards him and smiled before looking back down and the boy and smiling even bigger than she already was, "I think it's beautiful."

"She's the one." David came from the back of the tree and smiled. Mary Margaret and Regina followed him and nodded in agreement before a man came over and offered to help David attach it to his truck. The two went on and did that.

Killian then wrapped his arm around Emma's waist, pulling her body towards his and letting their hips touch, igniting a spur of heat throughout each of their bodies. She at first felt awkward at the total amount of contact they were sharing, but then remembered her overall mission and what he told her in the drink room. This let her smile and lean her head on his shoulder.

"Emma, Killian! Stop!" Henry held out his hand and stopped them from walking and then let out a giggle.

"What's wrong?" Emma said, taking her head off Killian's shoulder.

Henry just laughed once more before slowly pointing up above them: a mistletoe.

Emma's face grew red and her eyes grew big; Killian's mouth dropped and he looked down at emma in desperation. What were they supposed to do?

"You know what that means?" Henry said.

"Oh yes, I believe I do." Emma said before turning her body to Killian. She forced a smile before whispering to him, "Just go with it."

"Emma, I'm not sure we should-"

"Killian."

"Are you sure?" Killian asked, his hands landing on her forearms.

Emma placed her hands on his chest and grabbed ahold of his jacket collar. Within the next seconds, everything went by so fast. She yanked him towards her, just close enough for them both to feel the other's breath on their lips. Emma looked to Killian's eyes and took a deep breath before she sighed and closed the short distance between their lips, creating a sweet kiss. Killian at first didn't fully accept that it was happening and when he finally did, all that remained were the ghost of her lips on his. She quickly turned to Henry and smiled before shoving her hands on her pockets and walking away, leaving Killian under the mistletoe. Henry followed her.

Killian stood there and placed his fingers on his lips, that kiss, the ghost that remained there, was something. It was something entirely different from anything he had ever expected. It was gratifying and memorable, and truthful and passionate, and all at the same time, it was probably a mistake.

A mistake that he would pay for and that she would pay for later that night.

* * *

 **Welp, here we go. The climb to the top won't be easy. Review this, kisses!**


	5. What Used To Be There, It Isn't Anymore

**A/N: Guys, I'm sorry for this chapter. I apologize in advance. But I promise you, it WILL get better. Not all things end badly. Enjoy this and leave me a review.**

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* * *

 **Four:** What Used To Be There, It Isn't Anymore

Emma placed her hands on his chest and grabbed ahold of his jacket collar. Within the next seconds, everything went by so fast. She yanked him towards her, just close enough for them both to feel the other's breath on their lips. Emma looked to Killian's eyes and took a deep breath before she sighed and closed the short distance between their lips, creating a sweet kiss. Killian at first didn't fully accept that it was happening and when he finally did, all that remained were the ghost of her lips on his. She quickly turned to Henry and smiled before shoving her hands on her pockets and walking away, leaving Killian under the mistletoe. Henry followed her.

Killian stood there and placed his fingers on his lips, that kiss, the ghost that remained there, was something. It was something entirely different from anything he had ever expected. It was gratifying and memorable, and truthful and passionate, and all at the same time, it was probably a mistake.

A mistake that he would pay for and that she would pay for later that night.

Emma ran across the street and straight to her car, struggling to find her keys in her pockets. She finally pulled them out and unlocked the car before quickly jumping inside and locking the doors. She started the car and blasted the heat before she backed out of the parking lot and started to drive away.

She drove for a good twenty minutes, not even caring where she was going or even if she was still in Storybrooke. She eventually pulled the car to the side of the road, it stopping a few feet from the 'Welcome To Storybrooke' sign. She unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned back in her seat, her hands still gripping the steering wheel tightly and her eyes still staring into the open view ahead of her. Emma took a deep breath and released the wheel, her hands soon tightening into a fist and landing on her lap. She closed her eyes and a tear fell down her cheek.

Why was she even crying?

It wasn't like that stupid kiss meant anything.

It wasn't like it would ever men something.

It was all fake.

None of it was real.

 _But it was._

That was the problem. Her heart was aching. It was aching because she ran away. It was hurting because her stupid walls kept her from ever letting anyone test her feelings. Last time she let her walls down, Neal betrayed her. He had put up this mask that made Emma feel special, that made her feel like she was worth something. Last time, he lied to her, he pushed her into trouble and never cared for her at all. He played with her emotions, he played with her love. That was a terrible toll on Emma's heart.

From that moment on, she made a pact with herself that she would never let any one man take over her heart. Not once - would she let anyone ever hold her hand, make her laugh, buy her dinner, or give her a family. Nothing meant anything anymore. After what had happened with Neal, she had given up on love. Everything about it hurt her.

Even with Henry. Just seeing him and how happy he is, and just the thought of how happy he would be if she could have taken care of him and given him his best chance with her, was like slapping herself in the face.

It was stupid.

She didn't deserve love. She didn't deserve someone to hug her and care for her when she was hurt or someone to tell her she was beautiful when she was feeling insecure. She didn't deserve any of it. She wasn't worth it.

But _Killian_ \- he had made her feel something. He made her feel worth it. And that meant the world. It meant that someone on the face of this gigantic earth cared for her. And she didn't care if it was just a little spec of care or a whole truck full, at least he cared. When he looked at her, she went soft and started to let down those walls. When their hands just touched or their fingers brushed, shots of electricity shot through her body reminding her that she is capable of love. She was worth a try.

Emma shook her head and hugged herself, yet another tear falling down her cheek. This whole thing was stupid. Everything about it. The plan to fool her parents, the secret she was keeping from Henry, the fakeness of her and KIllian's relationship. She knew it would end badly. She felt it deep in her gut that sooner or later everything would turn upside down.

The plan was useless from the start.

Emma closed her eyes and then built another layer of walls around her mind and her heart. Nothing was going to hurt her anymore. It couldn't. It wasn't worth the hurt and the ache and the pain that she was suffering from right now.

Her phone buzzed as her eyes shot open. She looked at the screen and how it glowed up saying '8 missed calls from: Killian'. She let it ring as she started the car up once more and turned around, driving back to Storybrooke. She wiped her eyes clean of tears and sniffled some before turning the radio on and blasting some christmas music.

Once she returned to the main area of Storybrooke, she parked in front of Mary Margaret and David's apartment building and walked over to the park. She leaned over the ledge of the bridge and watched as the two swans came from under and swam away.

"Swan."

She spun around and saw Killian holding two coffees and walking towards her, "Don't make a man drink alone."

He held out the coffees before she spun around and started to walk away, then he placed them on the ledge and followed her.

"Not in the mood for a drink, or a man." she said, walking across the street to her car.

"I'm sorry about what happened today," he said, "I know you feel like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders, but at some point even though we're quite different, you've got to trust me."

He reached her and grabbed her arm, stopping her in the middle of the street and spinning her around.

"That's what you think this is about? That I don't trust you?" she said.

"Is that not what it's about?"

"Of course I trust you." she said, looking up into his eyes now. She could feel her walls trying to break but she tried hard to keep them up.

"Then why do you keep pulling away from me?" he said.

"Because everyone I've ever been with is gone. They left me, took me for granted." she said, her eyes growing watery.

He stood still and let go of her arm.

"I lost everyone." she said, "I can't lose you too. There's no way this will work."

"Emma, you could try. Let those walls fall down," he said reaching for her hand, "Aye, love, you don't have to worry about me. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's surviving."

"Or I can just put them up even harder, that way I know for sure my feelings won't get hurt. Don't take it personally, Killian." she said before spinning around and running back to the apartment building and going inside.

* * *

The next morning was terrible. Emma woke first. She didn't sleep very well; she woke up every hour or so. She sat up in the bed and rubbed her eyes before letting out a long sigh and walked over to the drawers to pick out an outfit. She pulled out a green, fuzzy sweater a pair of leggings along with her boots and a pair of fuzzy socks that Mary Margaret got for her when she first arrived. She quietly shuffled through the room being sure not to wake Killian and snuck into the bathroom before starting a shower. After a few minutes, she jumped in and did her business before hearing the door open. She froze in the shower and listened for a few second before sticking her head out of the curtain.

"Killian! What the hell?" she said to him.

His head shot over his shoulder and he yawned before his eyes grew big and he realized what was happening, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize."

"You didn't realize, my ass. I'll be done in a few." she rolled her eyes and stuck her head back in the shower after watching him leave. Like she said, she got out within the next three minutes and wrapped a towel around her body before tying her hair back in a high bun. Once she was dry enough, she got dressed and brushed her teeth before doing her makeup. After a good fifteen minutes, she finally left the bathroom and walked into the bedroom and saw Killian sitting on the floor, staring at her.

"Can I help you?" she said, crossing her arms and walking over to the bed.

"Nope," he smirked and stood, walking toward the bathroom, "I'll meet you downstairs."

As he shut the door, she turned her head and yelled back at him, "Wait, meet me for what?"

"Mary Margaret said we we're taking Christmas pictures today!" he yelled through the door as he hopped into the shower.

Emma's eyes grew big as she immediately took her wet hair out of her bun and ran towards the bathroom. She opened the door and slid inside before grabbing the blow dryer and curling iron and plugging them in.

Killian stuck his head out of the curtain, "What the hell, Swan?"

She turned her head and rolled her eyes after seeing that stupid grin and returned her attention to the mirror. She started to dry her hair and brush through it until it as completely dry. By that time, she heard the water stop running and out of the corner of her eye saw Killian's arm reach out for the towel that laid on the toilet. She didn't turn her head; instead she just continued doing her hair.

Suddenly, Killian stepped out of the shower, his lower body only covered in the little towel he had, "Why are you curling your hair?"

She turned her head and her eyes grew big, before they suddenly traveled down to his abs and then back up to his chest, then to his lips, then to his eyes.

"Pictures?" she said, forcing herself to turn back to the mirror and finish her hair. He nodded and slid past her, his chest brushing against her back before he made it out of the bathroom. She sighed relief and then finished her hair before fixing up her makeup once more. Emma shut the light off and made her way to the bedroom. Killian turned to her; he wore a dark blue sweater with blue jeans and his hair was combed the opposite way which made him seem a little more attractive than he already was.

She stopped staring as she slid past him and walked out of the room. He met her downstairs.

"Henry, stop running." Regina said as she followed him into the room with his tie.

"I don't want to wear a tie, mom!" Henry yelled as he ran behind Emma and Killian, "Don't let her put it on me!"

Emma turned around and bent down in front of Henry before she smiled and fixed the buttons on his shirt, "I think you need a sweater, it's cold out. But I don't think a tie is necessary."

"See, mom?"

"But your mom does want you to look nice, and she is your mom, so you have to listen to her." Emma said as she stood and let him walk towards Regina. Killian went to put his arm around Emma but she looked at him and moved away to go get some coffee for herself. Henry pouted as Regina put the tie around his neck.

"Mom, I look weird. Please don't make me wear it."

"Now Henry, I am your mother, and you will do as I say." she said sternly, but then patted his hair and smiled. He stuck his tongue out at her and walked over behind Emma before asking her to bend down next to him.

He whispered to her, "I'll take it off before pictures."

She laughed and nudged him with her elbow before he laughed too and skipped away to the couch.

"What did he just say?" Regina said, walking over to Emma and crossing her arms.

"Just something for me, it's our little inside joke." Emma shrugged and walked around the table. She bumped into David, who hugged her and smiled.

"Good morning, everyone!" David said as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Honey, do you have that new sweater I had to buy, because I'm getting-" Mary Margaret said as she ran into the kitchen and came to a quick pause, 'Well, hello, everyone. David."

"It's in the back of the closet." he said as she turned away and went back into their room. He turned to the rest of the group and laughed awkwardly before everyone just went back to what they were doing.

"You look slick, mate." Killian said as he patted Henry's back.

"What does slick mean?" henry asked.

"Uh, handsome." Killian laughed before pushing Henry a little and scooting him over so he could sit next to him and Emma. Emma scooted away from Killian a little bit and looked the other way as she sipped her coffee.

Killian leaned over to her and whispered, "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Everything's perfectly fine. I'm fine." she said.

"Alright everyone, let's go, pack up the cars!"

"I'm going with Emma and Killian again!" Henry yelled as he pulled on his jacket.

"Henry, you are coming with us this time." Regina demanded as he pouted to her and walked out of the apartment. Emma stood and and grabbed her jacket before Killian followed her and they left the apartment. They got into the car silently and started to drive away before Killian spoke.

"So let me hear it."

"Let you hear what?" Emma said, her grip tightening on the wheel.

"What's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong, Killian." she took her one hand off the wheel and placed it on the gear shift. He turned to her and placed his hand on hers before she flinched and took it back.

He stared at her, "Ah, that's what it is."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Emma shrugged. He laughed before he placed his hand on her shoulder. She shook it off and opened the window.

"That." he said.

"Nothing's wrong." she shrugged.

Then, pushing her to her limits, he placed his hand on her upper thigh, lightly squeezing it and stroking it with his thumb. She swerved on the street and heard a horn beep as she finally straightened the car.

"What the hell?" she yelled ts him.

"If you don't want me to touch you, just say so." he said, turning back to the window.

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

"I'm your boyfriend?" he said, not looking at her.

"No one is here, you don't have to act. Stop it." she said before she pulled into the parking lot of the photography place.

 _I'm not acting,_ he thought. He looked at her and watched as she shut off the car, took a deep breath and stood out of the car. He stood and shut the door behind him before he met her across the street with the rest of the group. Henry came up behind her and shoved his tie in her pocket; she laughed in response.

The group got inside and was posed by the photographer. One photo was taken of the group and then the photography demanded that there be smaller groups in the pictures. He took one of Mary Margaret and David, one of Regina and Henry, one of Henry with Mary margaret and David, and then he turned to Emma

"You two, over here." the photographer said to Killian and Emma. He made Killian sit on the ground, one leg on the ground and the other angled out, then he put Emma between Killian's legs and told her to lean on his shoulder. She at first refused but then looked at her audience and did what she was told. Killian interlocked their fingers and smiled for the picture. Then, what everyone thought would never happen, did.

"Boy, over here." the photographer said. He placed Henry on Emma's lap and told him to hug her and smile. Emma was overwhelmed by how close she was to Killian but she was even more overwhelmed by the closeness of Henry. They looked like a family.

Once the camera flashed, Emma picked Henry up and stood him up before she stood up and got away from them all, stepping towards the door and letting herself calm down a bit. Henry came up behind her and put his hand on her back.

"You okay, Emma?"

She looked down and smiled at him, "Of course. Just was a little hot, so I needed some air."

He nodded before returning to the group and nudging Killian to go over there. He did.

"Emma, you have to come over there. They are your family, not mine." he said. Emma turned to him and nodded with a straight face before she slipped past him and went to the group. He stood and watched her.

* * *

Later that night, they came back home and all were in their own rooms once more. Killian was lying in his floor bed on his phone and Emma was watching TV on the bed. The two heard a knock on their door. Killian jumped up and kicked his floor bed under the bed and jumped to the end of the bed, leaning on his elbows and watching the TV.

"Come in!" Emma said.

Henry walked in and plopped his body at the end of the bed by Killian and started to watch the TV. Emma came down on the other side of him and leaned on her elbows.

"Whatcha need, kid?" Emma asked.

"Just wanted to hang out with the cool people for a little." Henry shrugged and then leaned like Emma and Killian were.

"You really like us, eh, lad?" Killian nudged him a little. Henry nodded and a big smile grew on his face. The three were quiet as the man on the screen jumped into the ocean and was eaten by sharks.

"Woah!" Henry laughed and pointed to the screen.

"I think we should change the channel, Killian." Emma suggested, reaching for the remote.

Killian snatched the remote from her and said, "I think he needs some interesting things in his life, especially with Regina constantly breathing down his back, poor lad."

Another man was then eaten by a shark.

"What movie is this?"

"It's called Jaws." Killian smiled as he pointed to the screen before another guy got eaten by a shark, leaving a pool of blood.

"That's so cool!" Henry exclaimed.

"Killian, it's not a good movie for him to watch. He's ten." Emma said, pulling the remote from his hands. Killian sat up and lunged over Henry, his body landing between Henry and Emma, and his hands finding hers to grab the remote from her.

"The boy needs some adventure. Regina's too hard on him." Killian said to her. Henry looked at them and poked them to stop fighting and to watch the movie.

"Killian, he is my so-" she began to say as Henry flicked his head towards her and she froze, "He is so young. Let him watch it when he gets permission from Regina."

"Fine." he let her take the remote and switch the channel to 'The Sound of Music'.

Killian rolled his eyes and stood from the bed before Henry waved goodbye and told them it was his bedtime anyway. He left the room and shut the door behind him. Killian pulled his floor bed out from under the bed and shut the light off before he fell asleep. Emma rolled her eyes and got into bed herself.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, then. Review?**


	6. More Shenanigans

**A/N: Before you read this chapter, allow me to answer some questions.**

 **Of course Emma is being a hypocrite by being upset about her parents giving her away when she did the same to Henry. But the more you read, the more she bites at herself and gets mad with what she did. So it kind of evens out.**

 **Authors and writers interpret things different ways. The dialogue that I added in from the show was not about death. I twisted it into my own way and made it like all her past lovers left her. So no further comments on that.**

 **Maybe MM and David did search for their daughter but she did live low on the radar and maybe she didn't want them to find her with everything she was doing. Again, something for you to interpret yourselves.**

 **About Emma being poor and not having enough money to pay Killian - have you ever thought about her saving up everything she had or maybe she had kept that from when she did rob that bank or corner store?**

 **Maybe MM is pregnant? Good observation. I'd keep a lookout for any more clues that could lead you to any new conclusions:**

 **Overall, I leave a lot of things open for you guys to interpret yourselves. I give you space to imagine and also make it your own. But if you want the clear answers by which I am writing, feel free to ask.**

* * *

 **Five:** More Shenanigans

Sometimes things can go in the exact way you want them. Sometimes the exact way you want them isn't the best way. Sometimes even though you try to make it perfect, something always falls apart. This was Emma's dilemma.

Here's how it all started:

* * *

Emma woke up the next morning and sat up on the bed, her eyes still closed and her hair a mess. She rubbed her eyes and yawned before stretching and falling back on the bed and into her pillows. She turned her head to the window and saw light flurries falling from the sky. Emma yawned once more and sat back up before swinging her feet around to the edge of the bed and looking at the sleeping man on the floor. She rolled her eyes as she stepped over him and made her way to the drawer to get jeans and a black and white striped sweater. She quickly got dressed, brushed her teeth, and threw her hair up in a bun.

Fortunately, she got fully ready for the day without waking Killian. He just kept shuffling in his floor bed and she studied the way his chest rose as he breathed in, and how it fell when he breathed out.

Suddenly, she felt his hand wrap around her ankle. She spun around as the hand pulled her down to the ground, a grunt soon following. She pushed herself up on hands and knees and stared at him with straight hate. Killian yawned and smirked without opening his eyes before she elbowed him in the ribs and he grunted once more. She laughed at him before she got up once again, but yet again, he pulled her to the floor.

"Why the hell are you doing that?" she whispered angrily.

"I'm having fun. Lay back a little, your so tense." he said, his hands landing on her shoulders, slightly rubbing them, and pulling her back down to his pillow.

"No. Stop it, Killian." she said, swatting his hand away. He smirked as she stood and ran to the door.

"I wouldn't do that." he said as her hand touched the doorknob.

"Do what?"

"Go downstairs." he said, finally sitting up and opening his eyes.

"Why not?" she said, turning to him.

His bare chest laid open and perfectly in her view. He looked up to her and brushed his hair to the side before saying, "Parents are fighting, I think."

"How do you know they are fighting?" she said, coming towards him.

"I might've been up for about an hour or two." he shrugged and fell back into his pillow, his arm landing on top of his head so she could see his bicep.

She almost started to stare before she quickly caught herself and cleared her throat, "Why were you pretending to sleep?"

"So I could see how pretty you look when you first wake up."

"Awe, I'm just glowing with love for you," she said sarcastically, only receiving another smirk from him, "Get ready, I'm going down."

He stood from his floor bed and grabbed some clothes before stepping into the bathroom and changing. She made her way downstairs and heard her parents arguing in the kitchen. Emma just slid through the doorway and over to the couch to sit beside Henry.

"What they fighting about?" Emma whispered to the boy.

"You, the holidays, a new addition to the house, whatever else, I can't keep up, I'm watching Jaws 2." Henry shrugged and pointed to the TV.

Regina came down the stairs and headed for the kitchen but immediately turned away and came to meet Emma and Henry in the living room, "What the hell are you watching, Henry?"

He at first ignored her because he was so engrossed in the movie.

"Henry Daniel Mills, answer me." she said, standing in front of the TV.

"Jaws, excuse me." he said, swatting his hand in the air to make her move. She crossed her arms and shut the TV off before grabbing his hand and pulling him to stand in front of her.

"You are not to be watching these types of movies, you are too young." she said.

"I told you, Henry." Emma said.

"You will not watch these until I say so, do you understand?" Regina said. Henry nodded and pouted before going towards the stairs and running into Killian.

"Morning, lad." Killian messed up Henry's hair and smiled towards Emma and Regina. Regina stood back up and walked into the kitchen to get coffee, soon coming back and joining Emma on the couch.

"Eh, Regina?" Killian walked over to the two sitting on the couch, "Am I allowed to take the lad out for a few hours? A little man to man time?"

Regina's mouth dropped before she sipped her coffee and just nodded, shooing them away. Henry jumped in the air and grabbed his jacket before running out of the apartment and calling for Killian to come after him. He did so, but he sent Emma a clear smirk and a wink before he left the apartment.

Emma stood from the couch and shut the door behind them before returning back to her spot. The two women sat in silence for a few minutes until Mary Margaret came rushing through the hallway and into the living room with her jacket on.

"Where are you going, mom?" Emma said.

"David and I are just going to stop at the grocery store for some food we missed for our Christmas dinner in a few days. You two will be okay, right?" Mary Margaret said as she zippered her jacket and David met her at the door.

"They aren't children, honey. They'll be fine." David laughed as he pulled his jacket on and pushed her through the door before waving and shutting the door behind them.

Emma stood and walked to the staircase before Regina spoke, "Emma, can we talk really quickly? Just for a second."

Regina stood and folded her hands in front of her body before Emma spun around and came back to the couch, sitting down. Regina sat and spoke, "I wanted to apologize."

Emma almost did a double take when she heard these words fall out of Regina's mouth, "For what, may I ask?"

"I had no right to say what I did about you and Henry and your relationship," she said, not looking at Emma, "I know what you're trying to do is the right thing."

Emma stayed silent and allowed Regina to continue.

"Henry is my pride and joy, he's all I got. Sure, Mary Margaret and David are here for me if I need them, but Henry is my son. He's the only real family I have," Regina sighed, "I was so tied up in keeping him attached to me and not letting you take him from me, but I forgot the real reason you were trying to connect with him."

Regina looked up at Emma, "I took the time and put myself in your position for a moment. If I was you, and I had just met my son, I would want to build something with him, too."

"That's all I ever wanted with him, I never intended to take him from you, I just wanted to get to know him and who he grew up to be," Emma said, "He's such a good kid, his smile could brighten up a room of sad people."

"He sure is."

"You raised him right, Regina." Emma spit out, "Thank you for that."

"Thank you for bringing him into this world," she said in return, "But no hard feelings, right?"

Emma laughed and shook her head no, resulting in Regina smiling and rubbing Emma's shoulder. The two stood and parted ways: Emma going upstairs, and Regina going to her own room.

* * *

"Can you please tell me where we are going now, Killian?" Henry pouted as Killian drove around the corner light and pulled to the side of the road. Killian leaned back and turned to Henry, laughing and pointing out to the water.

"Isn't the water like frozen solid?" Henry said.

"It may be cold, but I assure you, lad, it isn't frozen." Killian got out of the car and opened the door for Henry before he walked him over to a boat. He lifted him up and onto the boat before untying the ropes and letting the boat float away from the dock.

"So why do you like the water so much?" Henry said as he sat down next to Killian on a bench. Killian leaned back and smiled.

"It calms me." Killian shrugged and stood before grabbing his hand and pulling the boy to the steering room. He put Henry's hands on the wheel and turned the switch to manual before placing his hands on top of Henry's.

"Like this, lad." Killian said as he slowly turned the steering wheel slightly to the right. He pushed a small button and the two heard a loud horn sound from the boat.

Henry laughed, "Lemme try!"

Killian lifted his hands off of the steering wheel and stepped back a little as he watched the boy's face glow with happiness. Henry turned the wheel slightly to the right like Killian taught him to do, and pushed the button to sound the horn. He laughed and turned back to Killian before Killian grabbed the wheel once more and told Henry to push the small green button under the horn.

"What's it do?" Henry asked.

"You'll see, just push it." Killian smirked as Henry did so, before an electronic map formed on the screen above their heads and showed them where the boat was in the ocean.

"Woah, this is so cool." Henry said in awe.

"Wanna drive for a bit while I check in with Emma?" Killian suggested. Henry nodded and grabbed the wheel before Killian stepped and sat on the bench next to the steering wheel and dialed Emma's number.

 **Is Henry okay? What happened?**

"The lad's fine, he's having lots of fun."

 **Then what do you need?**

"I'm just checking in on you, love. Anything interesting happening over at the house?"

 **Nothing I can't tell you later. Now go watch my son and be careful!**

"Love you too." he laughed and hung up the phone before he turned and saw Henry having the time of his life.

* * *

It had been about three hours since Killian left with Henry, and about two since Mary Margaret and David left for food.

Emma crossed her legs and flipped through the channels on her TV before she sighed and shut the TV off. She threw the remote to Killian's floor bed and fell into her pillows. She heard her phone ring.

"Hello?"

No answer.

"Who is this? Can I help you?"

 **Is this Emma Swan?**

"Depends who's asking."

No answer.

"Hello? Who is this?"

 **Are you in Storybrooke?**

"What the hell? Who is this?"

 **See you soon.**

Emma heard the other line cut off as she angrily hung up the phone and threw it to the floor. Now that was something she was going to tell Killian. It was scaring her.

* * *

Mom! Mom! Emma! Mary Margaret! David! We're home!" Henry yelled through the house and started to run around the couch from the excitement he was holding inside. Emma came down the stairs, followed by Regina. The two women crossed their arms and sent Henry a confused look before Henry ran into Regina's arms.

"Hello, everyone." Killian greeted the group and shut the door before turning towards Emma and Regina.

"Killian took me to the docks and he brought me onto this boat, it was so big and like huge, but that's not the point. He taught me how to drive it and showed me how to use the horn and the cool map that showed us where we were and I had so much fun, mom!" Henry was almost out of breath after saying his statement. Killian laughed and rubbed Henry's head before meeting Emma's eyes.

"I'm glad you two had a good time." Emma smiled at Henry and looked back up at Killian, who was sending her that stupid grin.

"You drove a boat? Wow. Let's go get you cleaned up, alright, honey?" Regina grabbed his hand and brought him upstairs to take a shower. Killian took his jacket off and hung it up in the post before sitting down in the couch with his arm on the back. Emma came over to him with a small smile and sat down next to him.

"Thank you for giving him a good time." Emma said.

"Aye, love. Anytime, I love the lad." Killian smiled and rubbed his chin.

She nodded and looked down to her hands before she started to rub her hands, indicating that she was nervous. Emma looked around the room and then met his eyes, "Listen, I have something to tell you and you need to listen to the whole thing before you say anything."

"Are you okay?" he said, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, "For now."

"What do you mean, for now?" Killian turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, it's nothing Killian." she shrugged and looked away.

"Emma, tell me what's wrong, I can help you." he said.

"I got a call from someone today not to long after you called me, and uh, I'm not so sure who it was, but I have an idea." Emma said.

"Well?"

"She's a part of my past, and I pushed her outta my life a long time ago, but in the call she said she'd see me soon, and I can't have her anywhere near Henry, or my family, or you," Emma said, "She's, uh, she's not good."

"How'd she get your number?" Killian asked, taking his arms and placing his hand on her shoulder.

"No idea, but I'm scared she's actually going to show up. She knows I'm in Storybrooke, somehow." Emma shrugged and looked away from him.

He placed a finger under her chin and turned her face towards his, soon taking his finger away and offering her a small smile. She was surprised by how much he was affected by this news. Killian then wrapped his one arm around her and pulled her to lean on his shoulder, which she did reluctantly.

"She won't get to you, or Henry, or any of us," he said to her, "What's her name?"

"Lily," Emma whispered, "Lily Malef."

* * *

 **A/N: Review?**


	7. The Last Straw

**A/N: So this chapter is going to be a doozy for you all. Just a clean, fair warning. I'm working on the next chapter so please don't feel too upset with this chapter because before you know it, you'll get a new update! Anyways, holidays are getting closer, so have fun!**

 **Kisses.**

* * *

 **Six** : The Last Straw

The next day was a more calm, relaxing day. Everyone slept in; no one woke up until around eleven. Henry was the first to wake, David waking soon after, and Killian not too long after that. The three sat silently in the kitchen and drank some coffee and orange juice. They made sure not to make much noise because they wanted the women to be able to sleep.

Women needed more sleep than men did anyways.

Emma strolled down the stairs and yawned, her arms coming up in the air and then rubbing her eyes in the process, before she waved to the group in the kitchen. They stared at her and then greeted her good morning before she joined them in drinking their coffee and preparing breakfast.

This whole waking up to a family thing was really getting to Emma. She was starting to feel at home for once in her life and was starting to feel loved, and not just by her family.

She'd constantly catch Killian's eyes searching her body and observing her movements. She'd seen when Killian gets a little nervous that his eyebrow raises a little and he starts to rub his hands. She'd figured out that when he was upset, he'd avoid eye contact and rub his wrists. But most of all - she'd seen that when he was deeply into what he was doing, a certain desire burned in his eyes, his stupid grin formed on his face, and he was overly confident in everything he did.

And it was the same the other way around.

Killian had solved Emma completely. She'd always hide her pain, unless it's way too overbearing and she needed to let it go. She'd fold her hands together and placed them on her lap and her face would seem innocent when she was nervous or feeling weird in an awkward situation. And most importantly - when she was happy, she'd have this passion in her eyes and a huge smile that glowed up the room. She'd almost jump up and down if it weren't for her walls holding all of her feelings back. She'd let everything escape.

The past week and a half had been a workout for Emma and Killian, especially since they were lying and acting and everything was all a plan. It was a set in stone sort of thing, and if they ever messed up, things would go down.

There were only ever a few mistakes made in this plan, where some information would slip from Emma's past or she'd act like Henry's mother, or Killian would almost tell Henry that Emma was his actual mother. But these things passed, and they weren't such a big deal.

Emma looked up at Killian as she sat down next to Henry and sipped her coffee, "Good morning, Killian and company."

Killian raised an eyebrow and walked over to her, placing a hand on her back and rubbing it in a constant, slow motion, which led her to leaning her head on his chest. Again - all an act.

At least, for Emma it was.

Killian was slowly falling for Emma. Not for his employer or his acquaintance, but for his friend and his fake lover. He loved spending time with her and her family and made sure that those moments lasted in his head for a long time. He enjoyed at least pretending to be her boyfriend, because soon enough, he'd tell her his true feelings and only hope that hers were mutual.

He lifted his hand and let it fall to his side. Emma, noticing this move, looked at him and then down at his hand before grabbing it and interlocking their fingers.

"How was your night?" David said to Emma, "I'm sorry we got home so late, everyone was shopping."

"It's really no problem. Killian and Henry got home around 4 and we all just spent the rest of the night relaxing and watching christmas movies. It was actually relieving to not have something planned to do and to just hang around for a few hours." Emma smiled.

"Aye, yes, we watched all three Santa Clauses, Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman, and a Wonderful Life. All of which I've never seen, so it was quite an experience." Killian laughed.

"I just played my gameboy in my bed." Henry shrugged and turned as he heard someone walking down the stairs. Regina smiled to the group and made her way over to Henry before brushing his hair with her fingernails and asking David to fetch her some coffee.

"So what's our plan for today, gang?" Regina asked before sipping her coffee.

"I was thinking we could go see the town tree lighting," David suggested, "There's a festival at 3 and the lighting is at 7."

"I think that's a great idea." Regina nodded and pulled Henry up the stairs with her to get ready.

David nodded and left the room to check in on Mary Margaret, who was surprisingly still sleeping. Killian raised an eyebrow and looked towards Emma, who dropped her hand and let go of his. She turned towards the living room and continued to sip her coffee before Killian spoke.

"So, are you in the full blown Christmas spirit yet?" he said.

She spun back around and raised both of her eyebrows before placing the coffee back on the table, "How could I be? I'm too busy worrying about lying correctly to my family."

"Then stop lying." he shrugged and leaned on the counter next to her.

She rolled her eyes, "You know I can't do that, Killian. It would hurt them."

"Don't you think you're hurting them more by lying?" he said.

"That's not the point, Killian. The point is if they find out now that I've been lying to them or hell, if they ever find out, I don't know what I'd do with myself. It's hard enough keeping the secret that I'm Henry's mother from everyone, on top of it I have our whole thing going on and that's hard to pull through," she sighed, "And now I have to worry about the hell that Lily is going to be bringing when she arrives and how I'll keep her away from my family."

"Well, quite frankly, Emma, if you just told your parents, the outcome wouldn't be as bad as it will be if they find out on their own." Killian leaned towards her.

She sipped her coffee and shook her head, "Who's side are you on?"

"I'm not on any side, I'm the employee remember, boss?" he smirked and stepped past her before turning his head over his shoulder towards her.

She rolled her eyes once more and spun in her chair, "Of course. You do what I say. Keep it a secret. Keep it all on the down low."

He raised an eyebrow before she continued, "Please, Killian. It's the one thing you seriously need to do."

"You have my word, lass." he said as he put his empty coffee mug in the sink and went up the stairs. She sighed and rubbed her forehead.

She was in for a terrible end.

She stood from her chair and placed her empty mug in the sink before sitting herself on the couch and turning in the TV. She scrolled through the channels, all of which had stupid christmas live stories on, and then shut the TV off angrily. She sighed and folded her hands in her lap, something she'd do when she was nervous, and then stood up. She heard footsteps coming from Mary Margaret and David's room so she ran to the stairs and made her way up to her room.

Killian was in the shower. She laid herself in the bed and waited for him to finish.

* * *

Emma was dressed in a green fuzzy sweater, blue jeans, and boots. Her hair was slightly curled and her makeup was light. She was wearing one of Killian's black jackets since it was just too cold for just her leather one. Of course that seemed a little awkward for her, but it smelt like him, which made her happy, and it was all part of the show.

Killian was wearing a black long sleeve shirt with blue jeans and black sneakers. He had on a black jacket as well along with a scarf. He had offered Emma his scarf because he could tell she was freezing. But she had refused and he knew the reason.

"Aren't you freezing, love?" Killian nudged her to the side and slowed down their pace, allowing the rest of the group to walk ahead and towards the tree lighting. She looked down to the ground and shrugged, hiding her hands in the pocket of her jacket and letting the collar fold up to cover her neck.

"Emma, here." he grabbed her arm and stopped her, turning her to him. She looked up to him reluctantly, her lips closed and chapped, and her eyelashes freezing from the cold. Her cheeks were a bright red along with her nose and her hair was slightly whitened by the snowflakes falling from the sky. He unwrapped the scarf around his neck and placed it on hers, carefully wrapping her hair underneath it and tucking the ends of the scarf into her jacket. She did nothing to refuse his effort; she only stood there and stared at him as he did it.

"See? Now you're warmer." he shrugged and placed a hand on her shoulder, before offering her a small smile and sticking his hands back in his pockets. He turned to continue walking, but her hand grabbed ahold of his forearm and stopped him from doing so. She turned him back to her.

"But now you're cold." she said, concerned. She stuck her hands back in her pockets and continued looking up to him, watching as a small smile formed back on his face and his eye sending her a wink.

"There's no way we can both win, love." he laughed and pushed her ahead of him before he caught up and walked beside of her. She shrugged and looked around. In front of them, only a few meters away, stood the tree. It was almost 300 feet tall, wrapped in thousands of lights and decorated with hundreds of different color ornaments. She stopped and stared, her mouth dropping open and her cheeks growing ablegen redder than they already were. He stopped too; He looked at her first and saw her amazement before he too came to be just as amazed as she was.

"It's going to be beautiful when they light it." Emma sighed contentedly.

He nodded, "Yeah, let's get a spot, their lighting in in a few minutes.

He grabbed her hand and shoved them into his pocket so that both of their hands were held together and stuck in his one pocket. She couldn't run free. She let him keep her hand there, because at least it was keeping her hand warm. He pulled her to the front, which was about three feet away from the actual tree. They heard people starting a ten second countdown before they joined in.

3.

2.

1.

The tree lit up in a matter of seconds and in that moment, all time froze. Literally. Emma's eyes reflected the sparkles and glimmer of the tree and her face glowed up instantly. She had never been able to experience this type of thing. Christmas always sucked for her. This year was different; it was a good different. The best different she had ever known. She turned her head and looked at Killian, who was staring up at the tree, his dark blue eyes shining full of love and happiness, his smile big and bright and his happiness pure and true. She then turned her head back, staring up at three beautiful sight in front of them before she felt someone looking at her.

"Emma-"

She turned and met Killian's eyes, before her cheeks grew red and a smile formed on her face. He took his hand out of his pocket and rubbed his hands together.

"Yes?"

"I need to tell you something. And now may not be the best time, and there may never ever be a good time to tell you this, but I'm going to tell you anyway." he said before he instantly grabbed her hands and rubbed them with his to keep them warm.

"Go ahead." she said.

"I don't really know how to say this." he cleared his throat and put a finger to his chin.

"Well, take your time." she laughed.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I think I love you. You are the epitome of everything I've ever looked for in a human being. Love is too weak a word for what I feel for you. I'll feel better sitting outside on your patio in the cold than any other place i could ever imagine. I would rather share one lifetime with you than spend all of eternity alone." he pleaded to her, "I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is. Love means never having to say you're sorry. Love is a many-splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. Some people search all their life for this and never find it. You think this happens everyday? What do I have to do to prove it to you? You want the moon? You want me to renounce my throne? I'll get the moon for you. I'll hop off this ride and drive somewhere with you where we can live happily. Together. Emma Swan, I think I love you."

"Well, shit, Killian." she said before her mouth dropped and she covered it with her hands.

"You seem overwhelmed." he said.

"I need time to think about this Killian. What you're asking me to do, it's a lot." she said to him.

"I understand, take whatever time you need. I just wanted you to know how I felt." he said, smiling at her. She nodded and told him that she'd be right back.

She ran through the crowd and bumped into Mary Margaret and David.

"Were going to go head home; I need to do some cleaning before Christmas Eve." Mary Margaret said to her. Emma nodded and slid past them before continuing to run out of the crowd and to the empty parking lot.

She fell to the ground; everything was too much. Her breathing started getting faster, her hands became instantly warm and she began to get very hot. She pushed herself up to a stance and made her body run across the parking lot and to her car. She scrambled to find her keys in her pocket before she finally did and unlocked the car. She jumped inside and let the tears fall down her face. Her body went numb, and not just from the cold, but from the walls that were tearing themselves down inside of her. She had never felt this feeling before; It was warm, it's was joyful, it was love. Of course she knew that she had felt something for Killian. But she didn't realize that that something was love. She had never had love, except with Neal, which turned out to be terrible. She had never had the experience nor wanted the experience after Neal. But ever since Killian came into her life, it was all different. Everything was changing, everything was breaking down. It was all going south, just like she had expected. Her life sucked. Everything was bad about it. That was until Killian showed up, until she brought him to her family and her family loved her for who she really isn't. That was until she found that little sliver of hope that was hidden deep inside of her and that she didn't know she had. Her life was becoming something else; it was becoming something better.

She couldn't subject herself to this. She couldn't let herself fall apart over love. It simply was not in her favor. Even if she did love Killian back, she couldn't tell him that. Especially not under her circumstances.

Whether she liked it or not, her walls were coming down. And they were coming down for Killian Jones.

* * *

"I'll just vacuum and dust every room, then I'll come back and we can watch some movies, alright, honey?" Mary Margaret said.

David nodded, "Of course, I'll clean the kitchen and living room. Why don't you start upstairs?"

Mary Margaret headed up the stairs and into Emma's room. She started to dust the shelves and the dresser before she did the bathroom and went to fetch the vacuum from the hallway. She came back and started to vacuum the floor before she saw the bedside table that she forgot to dust. She shut the vacuum off and went over to the table to start dusting it. She noticed the drawer was slightly open so she pulled the drawer open and was about to close it before she noticed that there was something inside. She opened it fully and stuck her hand inside to feel around until she found a little latch inside. She pulled it and spotted an envelope before grabbing it and shutting the drawer. As she sat on the bed, she opened the envelope and her mouth dropped as she pulled out a sonogram of a baby. The top said 'Mother: Emma Swan; Gender of Child: Male; Due date: October 12, 2005'.

She dropped the picture to the ground before she followed it and scrambled to pick it up.

"David! We've got an issue!" she yelled.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, looks like you've got another cliff hanger. On multiple levels, might I add. Lemme know what you thought about this chapter. It was a lot to process, I know, but hopefully it will all mean something in the end. See you next time.**

 **Kisses**.


	8. Crashing Down

**A/N: Hello everyone! So these next few chapters won't be quite as long as the earlier chapters, so I'll make you happy by posting one everyday! The epilogue will be posted on the 23rd, just in time for Christmas.**

 **Here is the schedule for my chapter postings this week:**

 **Monday: SEVEN**

 **Tuesday: EIGHT**

 **Wednesday: NINE**

 **Thursday: TEN**

 **Friday: Epilogue**

 **You know what to do, review :)**

 **Enjoy this chapter, kisses.**

* * *

 **Seven** : Crashing Down

 _Stop it, Emma._

 _Grow up._

 _Be the strong woman you are._

 _Breathe, woman, breathe!_

"What the hell is wrong with me?" Emma said, shaking her head. She grabbed the steering wheel tightly and shook her head again before letting out a long sigh and leaning back into the seat.

 _He's in love with you, Emma._

 _Why can't you just let your walls down and open up a little?_

 _Give him a chance._

"Shut up, inner self." she rubbed her eyes and put her hand on her forehead. Suddenly she felt the pain of a migraine attack her and she started to groan.

 _He could be worth it._

 _He could make you happy._

 _But you'll never know if you don't try._  
"Ugh, I can't do this." she said. She shut the car off and stepped outside, back into the freezing cold and the blizzardy snow. She sighed and watched her breath in the air before she turned in her heel, shut the door, and made her way across this street.

 _Stop running away, Emma._

 _You've been doing it your whole life._

 _Make a change._  
"Stop it." she shook her head and stepped onto the sidewalk before she leaned against a lamppost and crossed her arms.

What was she doing? She didn't know what love was. Hell, she didn't know what family was. She didn't know what I love you meant or how to care for someone else other than herself. She'd been alone her whole life; no one was there to guide her and lead her to success. No one was ever there to hold her hand when she felt upset or angry or to give her advice when she needed help. She gave up Henry for his best chance, because that wasn't with her. She didn't have the ability to love him, especially not in jail. Especially not in her circumstance.

Everything always came down to love.

Does he love you? Did he ever love you? Do you love the gift you got? Don't you just love this movie? Loving the dinner? Do you love me back? Do I love you?

Nothing was ever complete without love.

And here, she had a man. A man who had given up the last three weeks of his life to spend with her and her family, who had pretended to be her boyfriend and fell in love with her, who somehow looked past all of her faults and broken pieces and saw what was behind them. Just a normal girl. A girl seeking adventure, and passion, with a hint of danger and a lot of excitement. She wanted the same thing as any other woman on the Earth. She wanted love.

 _Just go for it, Emma.  
_  
She spun around and looked through the crowd, trying to spot Killian. There must have been three hundred people in the way, almost the whole town was there. She stood on her tippy toes and searched the crowd before she ran into it and called for him. She was getting no reply. She returned to the spot he told her he loved her in and he wasn't there. She couldn't even tell if he had just left or if he had left when she ran away.

This is what she got for running away. He was gone. She lost her chance.

But she wouldn't give up.

"Killian!" she yelled. But again there was no answer. She spun around quickly and called him again before running through the crowd and bumping into Regina.

"Are you alright, Emma?" Regina asked.

"I'm great, just peachy. Have you seen Killian?" she asked, looking past Regina and into the crowd of people behind her.

"Nope, but I have to tell you that I'm going to tell Hen-"

"I have to go." Emma ran past her and into the crowd of people. The air was getting colder and the snow was getting heavier.

"This is no use," she sighed to herself, "I give up."

* * *

 _Meanwhile_...

"Henry, I have to tell you something." Regina said as she placed a hand on her son's shoulder. He looked up to her as they slowed down and sat down on a bench.

"What's up?"

"I'm not sure if you'll be happy or sad about this. I was going to tell you on Christmas morning after I got permission from someone but I feel like it's too important not to tell you earlier." Regina said, grabbing his hands.

"Well, spit it out, mom."

She sighed, "I'm not you mother, I-"

"I know I was adopted, Mom."

"Yeah, but I know who your birth mother is." she said, looking down at their hands.

Henry's mouth dropped and a smile grew on his face, "Well, who is it? When can I meet them?"

"You already have met them." she said, looking back at him with watery eyes and a sad smile.

"Huh?"

"Emma. Emma is your birth mother." she said.

"I don't believe you."

"I'm telling the truth, Henry." she said.

He took his hands away and his face grew a little red, "That's not funny, Mom. I thought you were being serious."

Henry began to stand before Regina grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down, "I am serious, Henry. I've known ever since the first night we stayed over Mary Margaret and David's house. I was going to tell you, but I couldn't build up enough courage to."

"Courage? You couldn't be strong enough to tell me that you knew who my mother was?" Henry said.

"It's not like that, Henry. I was afraid that I would hurt you." Regina pleaded.

Henry stood from the bench and freed his wrist from Regina's grasp, "It would've hurt less if you had just told me the first time you knew. This, us, we, we don't keep secrets from each other. And never did. Until now."

"Henry, you need to listen to me." she said.

"No, I need some time. To situate all of this." Henry sighed and ran into the crowd before he completely disappeared from Regina's vision.

* * *

"Emma, honey, let's go home. I think Killian already headed home with Henry and Regina." Mary Margaret said as she rubbed Emma's shoulder.

Emma spun around and hugged Mary Margaret, "I thought you were home cleaning?"

"We were, but your mother became quite concerned with the giant blizzard ahead of us. She wanted to come collect the family." David laughed.

Emma nodded before they all got in the car and headed home.

David held the door for the two women and assisted them both in taking off their jackets. Emma smiled and headed upstairs, where Killian was. He was rolling up his floor bed and didn't notice her presence.

"What the hell are you doing?" she laughed before coming over to him and hitting his shoulder playfully.

He didn't reply.

"Killian, what are you doing?" she said as he stood and stuffed the blanket in his bag. She watched as he grabbed his pillow and placed in next to his bag before he went over to the drawers and started taking his clothes out.

"Killian?" she walked over to him and placed a hand on his bicep.

"Emma, did you know that I sat there in front of the tree for almost an hour waiting for you to come back, allowing my fingers to get cold and my hands to get frostbite, and letting my self esteem get lower every minute that passed?" he spun around and said.

"Killian, I know it was long, but I came back; I was looking for you." she said. He pushed past her and shoved his clothes in his bag.

"The point is, you didn't come back after a few minutes. You spent an hour or so away doing who knows what, and leaving me to think you hated me." he sighed and zippered his bag.

She walked over to him and placed her hand son his chest, stopping him from moving, and then looked up to him, "Killian, I came back searching for you. I was going to come and talk to you about what you said."

"I think I'm going to spend some time at Granny's motel for a few days. I think it's best at this point to distance ourselves from each other." he suggested. He walked away from her and shut the drawers before going into the bathroom and getting his toiletries.

"Killian, you can't leave." she said to him.

"Why, do you want me to be your puppy dog for more time? Do you want me to continue loving you even though I know you won't return it?" he said.

"It's not like that." she said, grabbing his arm and sitting him on the bed.

"Then what's it like, Emma? Was this all just something you wanted to get past, was it just a one time thing, was it just some stupid game?" he looked out the window, "You can't tell me that you have never felt one thing."

"Killian, I-"

"You know what, there's nothing to say right now." he said, standing up and grabbing his bags.

She stood and ran after him, "You can't go."

"Why? You'll still act the same, your family will never know." he shrugged her off of his body and left the room before she kicked the door and crashed into her bed. She felt her body tighten up as if something had just been torn away from her.

And it was.

Killian was a part of her. A part that was just torn away from her. A piece that was torn from her heart.

* * *

 _Hours later.._.

She sat on the bed and heard her phone ring. She ran to it, in hopes of it being Killian, but it was the same blocked number as the other day.

"Hello?"

 **Emma**?

"Lily. I know it's you. What do you want from me?"

 **I just want to see an old friend.  
**  
"We aren't friends, Lily. We never were."

 **We were when we were like 15.  
**  
"When you abandoned me in that corner store and let me get arrested for what you were also a part of?"

 **It wasn't like that, Emma. You know it.  
**  
"You don't deserve to see me. I cut you out of my life for a reason. Not just for fun."

No answer.

"You can't come here, to Storybrooke, I mean."

 **Why not?  
**  
"You just can't."

 **Is it because of the family you're growing there or is it because of the son that doesn't know he's your son?  
**  
"How do you know any of that?"

 **I have my sources.  
**  
"Lily, what the hell could you possibly want from me?"

 **See you soon.  
**  
Emma heard nothing on the opposite line before she sighed angrily and threw the phone onto Killian's floor bed. She stood and walked over to the mirror that hung on the door, staring herself down in the mirror and sighing, before she heard a loud knock.

"Yeah, come in."

David and Mary Margaret opened the door and stepped inside her room.

"Where's Killian?" Mary Margaret asked.

"He's, uh," she looked around, "out."

Mary Margaret nodded in response before she signaled David to shut the door behind them and they both sat on both sides of Emma.

"Can I ask what this is about?" Emma said.

Mary Margaret sighed, "It's about this."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the photo that she had found earlier that day.

"You're a mother?" David asked Emma. Emma's mouth dropped.

* * *

 **A/N: Another cliffhanger? Sorry. Expecting some hate from all the conflicts happening… :)**


	9. Hidden Truths

**A/N: This chapter is going to take a toll on you. There are a lot of emotions that will come out during this one. Leave me a review on whatchu thought. See you tomorrow with a better chapter.**

* * *

 **Eight** : Hidden Truths

"I really can't talk about this right now," Emma stood up and walked over to the door. She didn't turn back to see the disappointed looks on her parents' faces.

"How could you not tell us?" David said.

"Yeah, we're your family, Emma. I'm your mom, how could you not care to tell me at least?" Mary Margaret said.

"Really, because the whole time I've been here in Storybrooke you have yet to ask me who I really am. You have yet to even have interest in my past or my future. How could I possibly think you would care about this type of thing?" Emma yelled at her.

"Emma, don't be like that." David said to her.

"Don't be like what? Like you guys? Shut you out of my life, like you did to me? Well, tough luck, I already am like you. I am just like you. I gave my child away, to give him his best chance. Yes, I'm a mother. Yes, I gave him away," she yelled, "but you have no right to comment because you did the exact same thing to me."

"Emma, please don't do this-"

Emma spun around and crossed her arms, "Right now I have no need or desire to tell you anything. Maybe after I cool down I'll talk to you all, but definitely not right now."

Mary Margaret looked to the floor and nodded before she placed the picture on the bed and left the room. David followed her and gave Emma a sad look before he shut the door behind them. Emma let out a loud sigh before she collapsed onto the bed and heard the picture wrinkling under her body.

Here it was. The beginning of the end she was talking about way back when. The end that she knew she would face right when she hired Killian.

Pft, hired. How could she even think that what she was doing? No matter what she told herself, she knew that she never actually "hired" Killian just to get the job done. She never implied to actually grow some feelings for this man. Ever since she first laid eyes on him, it was like something started brewing inside of her and it wouldn't stop.

But now she was alone. Like she always had been. And it was all her fault. Because of her stupid walls that were holding her back from happiness. Because of the insecurity she received from being with Neal, and especially from the self confidence she always thought she had, but never did.

After all, you don't realize how important something is until you lose it.

Emma sighed again before she sat up and rubbed her temples. A headache was growing quickly and she could already feel the amount of pain it was going to bring. She turned her head and looked to the bare floor, usually where Killian's floor bed would be. She lifted her head and looked at the window seat, usually where he'd leave his dirty clothes and Emma would be forced to pick them up and bring them to the laundry room. She could feel the chilly air that seemed through the window panes just about that window seat, which is where they sat and drank hot cocoa, and where they made tons of memories and inside jokes. The bathroom door was slightly open, like he always left it, and the light was still on, burning like it always was. She stood from the bed and shut the light off before shutting the door and returning to her spot on the bed. She turned her head over her shoulder and looked at the dresser, whose drawers were now only half full, desperate for Killian's clothes to fit back inside. She rolled over and into her pillow, her head hitting the TV remote. Ah, the TV remote. Their first little argument. Memories shot back to when they fought over the remote, where they play-wrestled and he won, almost falling on top of her, where Henry first watched Jaws with Killian and the excitement on both of their faces.

She leaned back and looked up to the ceiling; her life was nothing without Killian.

She'd have to go on without him; like she always said, she wasn't worth enough to ruin another person's life. Especially not Killian's. He was worth too much for her. He was too special for her to enter his life and break everything down.

She sat back up and heard a knock on the door, "Come on in."

Henry pushed open the door, his face red and wet, and his eyes drowning in tears.

"What's wrong, Henry?" Emma stood from the bed and ran over to him.

Henry pushed past her and crossed his arms before turning back to her, "You! How could you not tell me you were my mom?"

She tried to quiet him, especially because Mary Margaret and David were just below them. She shut the door and walked over to him, bending down to his level and rubbing his arms, "Henry, let me explain."

"I don't want to hear your excuses, Emma," he said to her, "If you really cared, you would've told me when you met me. I thought I could trust you. We were having so much fun, I liked you; You were my friend!"

"Henry, please stop yelling at me, I can explain," Emma hushed him and grabbed his hands before bending down in front of him, "I had you two days before my 19th birthday. I wasn't ready for a child. I knew I wasn't, in fact, I still don't think I am. I gave you up because I wanted to give you your best chance, and that sure as hell wasn't with me. As I said to your mother, I was in a terrible place and I planned to come find you when the time was right."

"And when was that going to be? Never?" he cried.

"No, I-" she tripped on her words, "I'm not ready and I don't think I ever will be."

Henry sniffled and rubbed his nose on his sleeve, "Then why couldn't you just tell me that?"

"You wouldn't understand. You're too young to understand the reasons why I can't handle a child." she said.

"At least I would've known you were my mom," he said, "You didn't even care to tell me."

"Your mother didn't want me to tell you. It was too much of a hassle to put onto your shoulders. You're ten for god's sake," Emma sighed, "We were going to tell you on Christmas, thinking you'd be happy, but I guess your mother decided to do so earlier."

"That's exactly what she did." Henry stopped crying, "I actually liked you, Emma. I was a little hesitant at first but then I got to know you and I was like, yep, she's gonna be my friend."

"I am your friend, Henry." Emma said.

He took his hands away from her grasp and said, "No you're not. You're not my friend. You're a liar. You're supposed to be a good person! A hero! A mother! My mother."

"I am your mother, Henry. I may have lied to you and kept this secret hidden, but it was for your own good. I didn't want you to get hurt," she said to him, "Obviously that didn't turn out so well."

"Obviously not." Henry said before he ran out of her room and continued to sob in his own room.

Emma stood up and rubbed her head once more. The pain of her migraine was getting bigger and she was growing less tolerant.

She sighed and jumped into the shower. But not even the stinging hot water that hit her skin could relieve her of any pain she was enduring. She got out fifteen minutes later before she got dressed in white t-shirt, black cardigan, and jeans. She blew dried her hair and left it wavy. She applied light makeup and by that time it was almost 12.

Emma made her way downstairs and got herself a cup of coffee. Fortunately, no one else was downstairs to ask her anything else or make her feel any worse than she already did. She sat down on the couch and sipped her coffee. For some reason, the caffeine had eased the pain for a few seconds until she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. She didn't move; instead, she sat still and sipped her coffee, holding her head straight toward the TV.

"Morning." Emma heard Regina's voice ring through the hallway. Emma ignored her and continued to sit still and sip her coffee.

Regina walked over to the couch and leaned over it, nudging Emma's shoulder, "Are you okay? You seem off."

"Why did you tell Henry, Regina?" Emma stood and turned to her, leaning against the couch and crossing her arms.

Regina stepped back, "That's what this is about."

"What the hell were you thinking? It's not your place to tell him anything!" Emma said to her, "I'm having enough problems with Killian and then I had to get attacked by my own son because you let that stupid secret slip!"

"I wasn't going to but then I did, and then it was too late. At first I was a little satisfied with myself, because you aren't my favorite person in the world," Regina said, "However, I realized how much I hurt Henry. And now I feel terrible."

"You? Feel terrible? Imagine how I feel, Regina," Emma yelled at her, "I had my ten year old son come up to my room, crying, and calling me a liar, not his friend, not his family. Take a walk in my shoes for a second. On top of Henry, Killian is gone, don't know when or if he is ever coming back and my parents just found out about me having a son and they are all up on me about it."

"Emma, I had no idea-"

Emma sighed angrily and walked past her to place her empty coffee cup in the sink, "No, no one cares to think, 'Oh, what is Emma going through?'. No one ever cared. And no one does now. My parents love me, sure, but they aren't here comforting me and asking me how they can help with my situation. No - they are interrogating me on my so-called son and my missing boyfriend who isn't even really my boyfriend!"

"What, he's not your boyfriend?" Regina asked.

"No, it's not like that. I'll explain that later, the point is," she turned back around, "The point is you messed up and now that caused my life to get even worse than it already was."

"I'm sorry, Emma." Regina said to her, "I really am. For everything that you have going on. If you need any help, I'm here."

"I don't need your help," she said, "I'll do everything myself, just like I always do."

And with that she ran back upstairs and locked the door behind her.

* * *

It had been three hours since Emma and Regina's little quarrel. Henry still hadn't talked to Emma yet, her parents didn't bother her any further than they already did, and no, Killian had not called. She hadn't heard from him since he left earlier that morning. She sighed and stood from the bed before tying her shoes and throwing on a hat and gloves. She grabbed her jacket and threw it on, before she instantly remembered when Killian had given her his jacket. It was warmer and thicker, and of course, it smelt like him.

She sighed and her eyes grew watery before she shook her feelings away and ran down stairs and out the door. It was snowing again. She shoved her hands in her pockets and stuffed her neck into her jacket a little more. She walked around the corner and she noticed the park was empty. She crossed the street and sat on the bench. Oh, the memories. This was where she first became attached with Henry, and with Killian for that matter. Henry had trusted her for the first time, and she had trusted Killian for the first time. It's where everything began. She spun around and looked at the tree she hid behind so Killian wouldn't throw a snowball at her. She saw the lake, where she had first seen the swans and where Killian helped her calm down, which was now frozen. She walked over and leaned on the ledge of the bridge over the frozen lake, everything felt so good coming back to her mind.

"Emma Swan, how are you?"

She turned quickly, her mouth dropping and her body instantly taking a step away, "Lily."

"Yes, it is me. Long time no see, bff." Lily smirked and walked towards Emma. Emma flinched away another step and gave her a long stare.

She stepped back again, "What the hell do you want from me?"

"I just wanted to see my friend," Lily shrugged, "Is that a crime?"

"You always want something. There's always a catch." Emma said.

"You're right, I guess I didn't just come here to say hello," Lily said to her, "I need your help."

Emma started to walk away, but Lily followed after her, "I have enough on my hands, I don't need to be arrested on top of it."

"Let's talk real, Emma. Your fake boyfriend just ran away from you and your real son doesn't want anything to do with you," Lily shrugged and grabbed Emma's arm to stop her from walking, "You need my help."

"How the hell are you getting this information?" Emma said.

"My husband is the contractor that built your house. He installs cameras in every house he builds," Lily said, "Once I found out that you finally found your parents and you were coming to Storybrooke, I had to see you."

"That's creepy. He should be arrested," Emma said, "But I don't want anything to do with you. I have my own problems and I don't need you anymore."

Lily pulled Emma to sit down with her on a bench, "You two looked very in love. It's a shame he's gone."

That struck a nerve.

Emma stood and pulled her wrist away from Lily's grasp, "Just leave me alone, Lily. You have always ruined my life, and I finally cut you out of it and somehow you're back here trying to ruin it again!"

"I'm trying to be a good friend."

"You're not my friend! You never were, leave me the hell alone." Emma yelled at her before she ran across the street. She turned back and Lily was nowhere to be seen. Emma jumped in her car and started to drive freely. She drove to an abandoned park that was a few streets away from the apartment. She parked the car and walked to the broken down castle. Emma sat on the ledge of what used to be a bridge and stared into the vast ocean in front of her. She heard footsteps but didn't bother to turn her head. At this point, nothing mattered anymore. She felt a hand on her shoulder, her head immediately turned and her hand grabbed the one that landed on her shoulder, "Henry?"

He sat down beside her and looked out to the ocean before she did so too, "I used to come here all the time when I was younger."

She didn't say a word because she knew he was trying to say something.

"It was the perfect place to hang out. I brought my friends here and we would run for hours and play cards and play hide and seek or swing on the swings," he said, then he looked up at her, "Then a big hurricane happened, and now here it is."

"What are you trying to say, kid?" Emma looked down to him.

He let a small smile form on his face and said, "The point is, no matter how broken it is, I'll still love it as much as I did that first day it was built."

She nodded and he continued, "So, no matter how broken our relationship might be right now, I'll still love you as much as I did when I first connected with you, maybe even a little more."

"Henry, I-"

"Emma, I'm sorry for flipping out on you." Henry said before he leaned his head on her shoulder.

"No, kid, I'm sorry. I should have told you when I knew. I shouldn't have kept something like this from you," she said, "I'm a terrible person."

"No you're not. You're a great person," he smiled up at her, "You're smart, funny, caring, and you love with every little piece you have in your heart."

"How would you know that, kid?" she asked.

"I've seen how you look at Killian," he said to her, "Where is he anyways?"

She felt her walls breaking down again, just the mention of his name started to trigger her tears. She looked out to the ocean, "Gone."

"Come on, dinner's almost ready," Henry nudged her, noticing that she didn't want to talk about it, "Wanna drive me home?"

She laughed and nodded before helping him down and getting into the car.

* * *

Everyone ate their food in utter silence. They cleaned their areas in utter silence. They even served and ate dessert in utter silence.

The holidays were all about family. But at this point, this family was more broken then a shattered mirror - and that was hard. They would occasionally make awkward eye contact with one another or maybe they would want to say something, but feared it was make the situation even more awkward.

"I need to talk," Emma said, standing up, "To all of you. About everything."

She guided everyone into the living room, "I'm going to explain from the beginning, and no matter how hard it is, I need you to listen until the very end."

They all agreed and listened to Emma speak, "When I was younger, I grew up in the orphanage system. I was constantly bullied; no one cared about me at all, really. I'd occasionally sneak out around eleven every night and hang out at the local park with the other kids in other orphanages. But I started to grow up, my fellow orphans got adopted and I was left there. No one wanted me. At that point, I had almost given up on life. I was only fifteen. Fifteen year olds these days are usually spending time with their family or friends. I had none of either."

She could fee her yes getting watery, "From there, I met Lily Malef, who had recently reached out to me and I pushed her away. She and I thought it would be a brilliant idea to rob the corner store and try to get around ourselves. Of course, that didn't work, and I got arrested, however, Lily did not."

She watched as her parents grabbed each other's hands and seemed a little upset from the story she was telling.

"After I got out I met this guy Neal. We had fallen in love, or so I thought so," she shrugged and a tear fell from her eye, "He and I needed some money for an elopement and I of course having experience, was asked to rob the bank. I thought I would be cool and be good enough to get in and out fast enough, but it wasn't fast enough. I was arrested that night; Neal wasn't."

Henry leaned into Regina and his face grew sad. He was realizing that this was the part of the story where he came in.

Emma sighed and wiped her tears away, "At the age of 19, I had my son, who yes, is Henry. Your father is Neal."

Emma turned her head and looked towards her parents, who were holding each other for what looked like, dear life.

"I got out a year later and I wanted to do myself better. I wanted to have a better life. I got a job working as a bartender at a local bar every night, but that didn't work out. I actually did some other things at that bar that I'm not proud of anymore," she said, yet another tear falling down her cheek, "I wasn't getting paid anything, I lived in a broken down apartment building with no heat, no food, no clothes. Just what I wore and what I could scavenge out of the trash. I did have some money stashed away but I wasn't going to use it."

Regina hugged Henry and Emma saw that Mary Margaret started to cry.

Emma sighed again and wiped her cheeks, "Then you guys reached out to me. You wanted me to come for the holidays and I wanted so badly not to disappoint you. And that's where Killian came in. He was a stranger that I hired offline to be my pretend boyfriend."

Mary Margaret stopped crying and her mouth dropped, along with everyone else as soon as they heard the word, 'pretend'.

"Yes. I hired him. We came here, we played the part, oh so well. You all believed me. But, what I didn't notice was that something inside of me had turned when we first met, and Killian had this spot in my heart that I didn't know existed," Emma sighed and a smile started to grow, "I started feeling happy and warm and he made me feel safe and wanted. He always told me I was worth it. I was worth everything in the world. He comforted me when I was upset. He was there when I needed him. Even through all of this fakeness and pretend, he still was _real_ with me."

Emma started bawling now, realizing exactly what she was saying, "And he told me he loved me, and I left him hanging because of my stupid walls of insecurity and fear of trust. And now he's gone. But the worst part is, I didn't even get to tell him I loved him back."

"I, I didn't think I was worth enough to love him. I didn't think I deserved love. It was all just a big trick that life was playing on me," she cried some more and wiped her tears away, "And sure, you're all going to be pissed off with me, but I needed to get this off my chest. If you want me to leave, fine, but at least you know the truth."

The room was silent at first except for Emma's quiet cries. Mary Margaret stood and walked over to her, taking her hand and kissing it, before David stood and joined the two women in a group hug. Emma continued crying but she instantly felt safe. Henry stood and ran to join them before Regina did so as well. Before she knew it, Emma was feeling safer than she ever had. And she was feeling loved. _By her family._

"We forgive you, Emma," Mary Margaret said, "And we love you."

"I love you, too." Henry smiled and hugged her tighter. She laughed in response and rubbed his head before she pulled herself out of the hug and fixed her running makeup.

She turned to them and sniffled, "I need to go find Killian."

"It's snowing, and it's Christmas Eve. You'll have to wait till tomorrow. It's too dangerous." David warned her.

She nodded and began to walk up the stairs, "Merry Christmas. Good night everyone. I love you."

And with that, she ran into her room and cried some more. Crying herself to sleep had never seemed so easy until now.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm crying just writing this. Leave me a review?**


	10. Christmas Morning

**A/N: CRAPLOAD OF FEELS HERE JUST A FAIR WARNING TO YOU ALL. Anyways, Christmas is really close so hope you all enjoy what you do this holiday and I'll see you tomorrow with the final chapter before the epilogue.**

 **Kisses.**

* * *

 **Nine** : Christmas Morning

"Killian, this is the twentieth message I've left you," she sighed into the phone, "It's three in the morning and I'm worried. At least tell me you're okay."

She hung up and sighed again before throwing her phone onto the pillow. She turned and leaned on her elbow towards the window and saw the darkened sky filled with grey clouds that were releasing snowflakes. She tucked her head into her arm and her eyes shifted down to the floor, where Killian's bed used to be. _Used_ to be. At this time, if they were still awake or if Emma was still awake, they'd talk about everything. They'd talk about life, about the future, about their past, about anything really. Whatever it took to get their minds off of what was keeping them up. But now she had no one to talk to. No one to help her fall asleep or forget the bad things in her mind. She was completely alone.

Being up this late had done things to her. Emma was seeing things that she wasn't supposed to be seeing. She kept hearing Killian calling out for her. She was hallucinating. She was going crazy without him.

She sat up and shook her head, her hair flying side to side. She had to take control of the situation. Or at least pretend to be in control. That way she could trick her mind into thinking she'd be okay. _Even if she wouldn't be_.

Within the next minutes, she threw on a sweater, a pair of gloves and hat, her jacket, her boots, and a scarf. She applied chapstick and grabbed a pack of handwarmers from her dresser. Emma slipped through the door, making sure it wouldn't creek, and then shut it quietly, being sure it wouldn't wake anyone.

She had trouble moving down the stairs. They were metal - and her boots were heavy. It was hard not to make any noise. Fortunately, she remembered that the heaters were blasting so no one would be able to hear her small footsteps down the stairs. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked the time - 3:47am. She was in for a doozy.

Emma grabbed her car keys and headed out the door. She shut it behind her, again not making any sound, and made her way down the stairs and out of the apartment building. She came to an abrupt stop when she hit outside - the wind blowing at a 40 mile per hour pace and the air a cold 16 degrees. She could see her breath as she breathed out and spoke, and she could barely see through the snow that was falling down. It was a blizzard indeed, just like David had warned her. She was probably making the biggest mistake of her life, trying to drive in this.

But it was worth it, she thought.

She shoved her hands back in her pockets and stepped carefully down the three steps and toward her car. She could feel the wind trying to pick her up and blow her away, but she stood her ground and successfully made it to her car. She scrambled to find her keys in her pocket, but when she finally did, she shoved them into the hole and quickly got into her car. Of course, since everything was frozen, she had to wait a good ten minutes until everything defrosted and the car was a toasty temperature.

Emma began driving slowly down the horrible roads, which were covered in ice from previous storms, and which were now being covered in the many feet of snow coming for the town. It wasn't exactly the ideal condition she'd like to drive in, but she had to do it. She hit her brakes earlier than she usually did, much because of the ice that she could already feel her car slipping on. The radio was bugging out because of the storm so she drove in silence. She turned and felt the car shift slightly to the other side of the road, all she could see were the headlights of another car coming towards her. She turned the wheel quickly and swerved back into her lane before her foot almost instinctively pressed on the gas pedal and she was going 60 miles per hour in a 25. She pressed on the brakes, her car skidding and then sliding down the road. Thankfully, she didn't bump into any other car, which was lucky because there's only about ten more people on the plant that drive around three in the morning. She stopped at the light and looked both ways many times before finally continuing through. Emma finally made it to her destination. She pulled her car into the parking lot and carefully parked it in a spot that might have not even been a spot, but she didn't care. She took her keys out and sat there for a few seconds.

Was this the right thing to do? Was she going to pay for it? What were the consequences and could she handle them?

But she couldn't care less about any of those answers. All she wanted was Killian.

She got out of the car and shoved her hands in her pockets, before she made her way across the street and to the front of the building. It was a small building, it had a homey look to it and she could see why he had picked this place to stay. The sign that once said 'Granny's Motel' was now covered in snow completely. She opened the door, the wind tugging on it and pulling it further than she wanted to, and slipped inside the building. It had a small lobby, that was decorated with a big Christmas tree, under it tons of gifts, with ribbons wrapped around the banisters and bows hung on the walls. The front desk had an elf on the shelf and some free candies. Behind it laid a giant heater and a wall full of keys.

She heard someone coming as she straightened herself up and smiled.

"I thought you were a robber," the old woman said as she came out of the back room and lowered her gun, "People don't usually come around here this time of day."

"Hi, I'm Emma Swan, I'm-"

"You're Mary Margaret and David's kid, aren't ya?" the woman said, "I'm Barb, but people call me-"

"Granny." Emma smiled and took her hands out of her pockets before placing them on the front desk.

"In the flesh," Granny laughed and placed her gun against the wall before coming behind the front desk, "Now how can I help ya?"

Emma bit her lip, "I'm looking for a man,"

"The bar is down that way, lady," Granny pointed outside the door and crossed her arms.

Emma laughed, "No, he is staying here. His name is Killian Jones. He checked in yesterday."

Granny grabbed her guest login book and flipped through it, "Ah yes, Killian Jones."

"Where can I find him?" Emma asked. Granny smiled and grabbed a key behind her that said 4B before she handed it to Emma.

"Floor 4, room B," Granny said, "Good luck and don't be too loud."

Emma laughed and thanked her before she started to make her way up the stairs. This probably wasn't the best plan, but it was the _only_ plan she could think of. She continued walking up the stairs until she reached floor four. She walked down the hallway and stopped when she saw room B. She instantly felt a spark of hope shoot through her.

Emma skimmed her fingers over the door before she knocked lightly on the door. She stood outside and waited for someone to answer, but no one did.

That's because it's fricking four in the morning on Christmas Day, Emma.

She rolled her eyes at herself and slipped the key into the lock. This was going to turn out terrible.

Emma opened the door and made sure it didn't creek, before she slipped inside the dark room and shut the door behind her. His apartment was very tidy; Nothing was out of place and it looked clean. She walked around and saw the fireplace just burned out. The kitchen light was on, but no one was in there. She walked towards the hallway and saw one light on at the end of it. The last room in the hallway had its door open, and it's light on. Of course Killian left it open with the light on, classic him. She giggled quietly before she started walking down the hallway. Her boots continued to make light sounds because of how heavy they were, so she tried walking slower.

After a few feet, she heard a snore from the other direction. The room she had just passed must've been where Killian was sleeping. Then what was the room at the end with the light on?

Her curiosity took over her body and made her walk down the remaining length of the hallway. After her fingers came in tact with the doorknob, she lightly pushed the door open and slipped inside the dimmed room. Inside of it was one desk, a lamp, and a chair. She walked over to the desk and placed her fingers on it. Emma looked on the desk corner and saw a picture. She picked it up and realized that it was a sketch. It was a sketch of her. She gazed in amazement before her eyes trailed off and found something much more valuable to her laying on the chair. She grabbed the small brown journal and sat down on the chair, before she opened it to the first page and began to read.

 _She may have just hired me. It may be the first day. She may not trust me. She may not even like me. But this is going to be something_.

She let the corner of her mouth pull up and turns the page.

 _We're here in Storybrooke. Her family is amazing. They actually believe us. They think we're in love. They like us. They like me. Emma's happiness is my happiness. I'll tell her soon enough_.

After another page turn, her eyes grew watery.

 _I've started this portrait of her. She amazes me in every single way. She's so strong and is still fighting for what she has been for so long. She wants to be loved; she wants to feel wanted. She wants her son to know that she's his mother. She wants her family to love her for her and not just for who she is pretending to be. I want her to be mine. Maybe tomorrow I'll have enough courage to tell her I like her_.

She turned the page and wiped her cheek, the tears were starting to fall.

 _I've gained her trust. Her and the boy like me. They trust me. I think we are acting like a family. She may be mad at me now, or tomorrow, but that will never change the fact that I know she feels something for me. Whenever I'm with her, it's like I'm living again. I'm not some shallow man who just works and works. I love her_.

There was only one more page to read.

 _I've finished the drawing. And today I'm going to tell her. I think I love her. It's like being on the best rollercoaster ride ever. In the very beginning, you climb in and think "I can't believe I'm doing this, what the hell was I thinking, maybe this isn't such a good idea, blah, blah, blah" except at some point, it's too late for backing out because you're moving. And you're climbing and then spinning and looping all crazy and the thoughts are that you're pretty sure you're going to survive because how many deaths are there, really, from people falling out of roller coasters? But you don't really know because you never really paid too much attention to rollercoaster fatality statistics because you weren't into riding roller coasters. Until now. And every twist and every turn is exciting and you realize you're enjoying every scary minute and you start to just let go and trust...no, you start to truly believe...that you're definitely going to make it. Except there's always that "gotcha" turn when the bottom drops out and your stomach lurches, but then you're back flying again and you're laughing your head off because you made it and you're alive and this is all the most real stuff there is. And the ride begins to slow just a little bit, and the turns and twists are more like echoes of the stomach-turning ones from before, but you're okay with that. You're okay with everything. And you're pulling into the place where you started from, smiling, happy, enriched, and knowing you're right where you always wanted to be. Sigh. She makes me a better man. She is my happy ending_.

And at the end of that page was an excerpt that looked like it was written recently, and a signature that could only be Killian's.

 _She's gone_.

And with that, tears began to flood her face, she shut the journal and placed it on the desk before she wiped her face and calmed herself down. How could this be happening? How could she not see all of his love under her? It was there the whole time, waiting to escape. Waiting for that perfect moment. And when it did escape, she hid it back up.

 _You're a coward, Emma._

 _You're a brat._

 _You're selfish._

 _You're ignorant._

 _You're alone._

And that's what hit her.

 _You just want to be loved._

 _You want worth._

She sniffled.

 _Then go get it._

 _Go get your worth._

 _Go get your love._

 _Before it goes away._

She stood from the chair and left the room before she walked down the hallway and stopped in front of the door where she heard the snore from before. She opened the door, letting a strand of light in and letting the door creek ever so slightly. She walked over to the window and opened the curtains, allowing the moonlight to shine through and allowing her to see Killian's face. She smiled and a tear came from her eye before she sat next to his body and grabbed his hand. He flinched and opened his eyes, "Emma?"

"Dammit, Killian." she sniffled again and wiped another tear away.

"Why are you crying?" he asked as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. He grabbed her hand and looked at her in concern.

She let another tear escape, "You. It was always you. I read your journal. I saw the sketch. It was beautiful. They were beautiful."

"Emma-"

"No, let me finish," she said to him, "I've never really opened up to anyone ever. I've always kept to myself and made sure I stayed away from anything that could hurt me. I kept my walls up high and never let them down; I was too afraid to."

Killian squeezed her hand.

"And then you came into my life, and hell," she laughed and wiped her tears, "I tried so hard to keep those walls up. I was so afraid to love again. But you kept coming at me and soon enough, those walls came crashing down. And I realized that I had loved you."

He looked up at her and his mouth dropped, "You what?"

"I love you, Killian," Emma smiled with watery eye, "I have loved since that day you comforted me about Henry and Regina. Since that snowball fight. Since you showed me the swans. I loved you and I still do now."

"Emma-"

She placed her hands on his cheeks and smiled with a tear coming down her face, "I'm so sorry. I was a fool, for everything I did. I was stupid and I didn't know what I was doing. But I love you, and I'm here now, telling you I love you."

He placed a finger under her chin and smiled, "And I you, Swan."

And with that, he closed the remaining space between them and created a light, but passionate kiss. A real kiss. One that would be remembered for centuries. She laughed between the kiss and he backed up a little, "Why don't we go see if Santa came?"

"I'd enjoy that," she laughed and then stole another kiss, before he stopped her and stared into her eyes, "But it's only four in the morning."

This was going to be the best Christmas ever.

* * *

 **A/N: AHHH FEELS! One more chapter and then the epilogue! See you tomorrow and leave a review :)**


	11. All I Want For Christmas Is You

**Ten** : All I Want For Christmas Is You

Killian grabbed her hands and pulled her down towards him, her body falling on top of his and their noses aligned but barely touching. She giggled and smiled at him, looking down to his lips, before she stole another sweet kiss from him.

She felt complete. That was - because of him. He made her happy. And it felt good to finally let her walls down and be with him.

She laid her head on his chest, to where she could hear his heartbeat. He placed his hand on her back and pulled her down to his side. Killian looked down to her and brushed her hair with his fingers, her humming against his chest and closing her eyes. He pulled the covers over her body and pulled her closer than she already was.

"I love you, Emma." Killian said against her forehead.

"You said that already," Emma giggled.

He rubbed his hand up and down her back before continuing, "Saying it a hundred times isn't enough."

He could feel her smiling against his chest before he closed his eyes and they both fell asleep quickly, Emma in his arms.

* * *

Not only did this act of love make Emma feel better. But everything around her started to find it's way back to normal.

She woke up in Killian's arms at around 8AM. She hummed against his neck, which is where supposedly her head ended up sometime during their sleep, and then yawned. She tried to snuggle closer to him but they were already so close that they couldn't get any closer. She felt him stir and saw him yawn before she sat up and let him roll onto his side. Emma yawned once more and stood from the bed, whose sheets were quite a mess and whose blanket was on the ground. Killian laid on the middle of it, shirtless and sleeping, and it was the perfect image that she wanted to wake up to everyday.

Ah, if only.

She pulled off her cardigan, leaving her only in a tank top and then she grabbed one of his long sleeve shirts from his drawer. Nothing was even folded in there.

"Figures, a man can never do his laundry correctly." she laughed to herself before pulling the shirt over her head and slipping through the doorway. She walked down the hallway and into the small kitchen, where she searched for coffee or tea, or anything really.

There was nothing.

She grabbed her boots and her jacket before pulling her phone out and shooting Killian a quick text that told him she'd be back eventually. Then, she grabbed the apartment keys and got into her car to go get breakfast.

* * *

Not even a half hour had gone by and she was already back with bagels, coffees, and fruit for her and Killian. She didn't want to get anything big because she knew David was going to make his famous pancakes and Mary Margaret was going to make her trademark chicken feast for dinner later on. So, she buttered the bagels and put them on a plate with fruit on the side and brought them into Killian's bedroom with the two coffees. She sat down on the floor against his dresser and started to eat before she saw Killian move again. He laid flat on his back and put his arm across the bed, searching for Emma's body. And before she knew it, Killian sat up and looked around the room for her.

"I'm right here," she placed her hand on his forearm, "With breakfast."

"Good morning." he smiled before he laid a finger under her chin and placed a light kiss on her lips.

"Merry Christmas," she said before raising an eyebrow, "love."

She rolled her tongue and tried to imitate the way he always said it. He just laughed and grabbed his bagel before joining her on the floor and eating their breakfast.

When they finished, they cleaned up their plates and came back into his room. Emma sat down on the window seat and lifted her feet to sit in a criss-cross. He soon followed and sat down next to her before he grabbed her feet and laid her legs across his thighs. His hands landed on her legs and his gaze fell onto her face. She looked out the window and stared at the snow that gracefully fell from the sky. She let a small smile form on her face before Killian grabbed her hand and her cheeks grew rosy. She bit her lip and looked towards him, he who was staring at her so deeply and taking in everything he ever wanted.

She was there. She was finally his. He let his eyes roam all over her face, her body, until they reached her eyes, which were staring at him. He let a smirk grow on his face before saying, "What time is it anyways?"

She looked down at her wrist, where there was no watch, "Close to ten."

"We better get going, they might get worried about you." he said as he put a hand on her cheek and rubbed it with his thumb.

She leaned against his hand and then looked back out the window, "I guess you're right, lemme get my phone."

He watched as she stood and stepped out of the room, coming back a few seconds later with her phone in her hand, "I have eight missed calls from David. I didn't hear it at all though; I swore I left the ringer on."

"It's fine, love. Let's just go there and explain," he said, grabbing her hands and standing next to her.

She nodded and leaned into his shoulder, "I'm sure Henry is already done opening gifts,"

He pushed her out of the room and grabbed their jackets before assisting her in putting hers on and throwing his on as well. The next minute, the two were out of the apartment and on their way to the Nolan's apartment for Christmas, hoping that they didn't miss too much.

* * *

Emma put her hand on the doorknob; she could hear giggling through the door and christmas music playing. She could even smell the sweet sugary scent of her mother's hot chocolate brewing. However, she didn't open the door.

She spun around and bumped into Killian, who was standing right behind her and who held her forearms and pulled her towards him, making them both fall back towards the stair banister.

"What's wrong?"

"I told them everything last night, Killian," she sighed and avoided his eye contact, "My story, the whole plan, what happened to us."

"Oh, Emma-"

"I'm just a little nervous. They said they forgave me last night, but I'm not sure if they just did that since I was crying and really vulnerable," she said to him, finally looking at him, "And on top of that, what if I screw it all up again?"

"Christmas is a time for love and forgiveness. It's a time of giving and happiness, you have to let yourself give in to all of that," he said to her, "Whether or not it's going to be painful, you won't know that until you step inside. But you have to be prepared for anything."

"But, I don't know how to handle it-"

He grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles, "Then I'm here for you."

She nodded and let her head rise so that she was looking deep into his eyes instead of at their hands, "This is my first Christmas with my family. And I'm glad you're a part of it, Killian."

"Me too, Swan." he kissed her lips lightly and spun her back around before placing her hand back on the doorknob and taking a step back.

She looked back at him, and he nodded to her. She turned back towards the door and took a deep breath before she built up enough courage and shut her eyes, opening the door and flashing her eyes open.

Henry was on the floor, ripping up a present, Mary Margaret and David were sitting on the couch embraced by each other, and Regina was sitting next to Henry. They all looked up at Emma, who instantly felt awkward. She just stood in the doorway and let a small smile form on her face out of uncertainty.

"Emma! You're finally here!" Henry stood up and ran over to her, his arms wrapping around her legs and Emma bending down to hug him too.

Mary Margaret stood and David followed her to greeting their daughter and pulling her into the apartment. Emma laughed and looked back, "I brought someone back with me, is it cool if he stays for a bit?"

Killian strolled in and grabbed Emma's hand before smiling at them all and getting attacked by Henry with another hug, "Aye, I hope it's alright."

"As long as you're staying," Mary Margaret said before moving her eyes between Killian and Emma and raising an eyebrow, "For a long time."

"I plan to," Killian said as he kissed Emma's forehead.

"Well, then, would you two like something to drink?" David said before he went into the kitchen and brought them out two hot chocolates. They thanked him and made their way over to the couch. Henry walked over to Killian and laughed at him.

"Why are you still in your pajamas?" Henry asked.

"Why aren't you?" Killian tickled him before Henry ran back to the presents and grabbed a big box from the back of the pile. It was terribly wrapped and had a giant blue bow on top of it. He walked over to Emma and placed it on her lap.

Emma sat up and gave him a confused look, "What's this, Henry?"

"A gift. From me to-" he looked at her and smiled, "My mom."

Emma's eyes grew slightly watery before she started to rip open the wrapping paper and pull out a box, "Wonderful wrapping job."

"Thank you, I did it all myself. Go ahead! Open it!" Henry hit her leg and threw the ripped pieces of paper on the floor in his pile.

She slid the top of the box off and it revealed a brown book that said 'Once Upon A Time' on it. She grabbed it and lifted it from the box, extreme excitement and curiosity overwhelmed her. She started to flip through the pages, but there was nothing on them.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I understand," she said, looking back up at Henry, "Why isn't there anything in it?"

He stood up and squished himself between Emma and Killian and then grabbed the book, opening to the first page. He pulled out a pen from his back pocket and handed the pen to her, "It's a special book."

"Special, how lad?" Killian asked.

Henry nudged Killian and looked back at Emma, "It's your story. You control it and everything that happens. You write your own story. You write your own future."

Emma couldn't help but let out a tear, "Oh, Henry-"

"And this way, you know that no sadness will come, because you are writing your own story. And the first thing you can write is," he grabbed the pen and began to write a sentence, "My first Christmas with my parents, my friends, and my son: 2016."

"I wouldn't classify myself as a 'friend' lad," Killian said.

Emma gave Killian a funny look before she returned her attention to Henry, "Henry, this is so amazing. You're such a bright kid, and I'm happy I'm in your life now."

"Me too." he smiled and hugged her before standing and running over to the tree again. He picked up a smaller box and handed it to Killian.

"For me?" Killian said as he shook the little box, "It's a little heavy."

"Just open it."

Killian did as he was told and ripped open the paper before it revealed a small box that carried his very own Xbox controller, "What will I do with this?"

"Well, since you taught me how to drive a boat in the ocean, and the water calms you, I figured I could teach you how to play video games on my Xbox, since that calms me." Henry said to him.

Mary Margaret and David laughed as Killian started to inspect the controller. Emma laughed as well and watched as Henry ran back to the pile and grabbed two small bags.

"For you and you." Henry handed Mary Margaret and David each a bag.

They opened them and each of them took out a pair of oven mitts and a variety of cooking supplies, "I need you to keep making those pancakes and I can't wait for your chicken."

They laughed at Henry and gave him a hug before he ran back and grabbed a very small, wrapped box. It was rectangular and thin. He turned and handed it to Regina, "And for you."

She opened the paper and stared down at the glass picture frame that held a picture of her holding Henry as a baby.

"Just because I've found my real mom doesn't mean I won't know you as my mom either. I love you and you raised me. I will always love you and will always see you as my mom." Henry said before Regina grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hugh, a tear falling down her cheek.

"Alright, enough sappy stuff," Killian laughed before standing, "I didn't wrap anything, but here are some things for each of you."

He handed Mary Margaret and David each a gift card to Granny's Diner, Regina a pair of gloves and a hat, and Henry all three Jaws movies. He stood by Emma and stared down at her.

"And for you, Emma Swan," he said before he reached into his pocket and got down on his knee, "I have the biggest request ever."

Emma covered her mouth and started to get emotional.

He pulled out a small purple box and open it, revealing a diamond ring, "I got this the first day we met. The day we went shopping. From that moment, the moment we met, I knew that somehow we would find each other and see each other in this type of way. So, Emma Swan, will you be mine forever?"

She stood and gave him her hand before she said a faint, "Yes. It would be an honor."

He slid the ring onto her finger and stood up, pulling her into a passionate kiss and wrapping his arms around her body. She smiled between the kiss and leaned her forehead on his, before she looked around and realized that this was all real.

"I love you so much," she whispered against his lips.

"And I you." he smiled and stole another kiss from her before Henry tapped his shoulder.

"Does this mean you're kinda my dad now?" he laughed and hugged Killian and Emma. Emma left the two and walked over to Regina. She bent down and grabbed one of Regina's hands.

Regina smiled, "Congratulations."

"Thank you," she said, "I need to tell you something. I trust you. And I hope that you trust me. And I really hope that you'll let me see Henry more often now that we are all okay and that he knows. I understand now that we need to share custody and I-"

"And I'm okay with that, Emma. He is _your_ son." she smiled and squeezed Emma's hand, "Congrats again."

"My baby is going to get married!" Mary Margaret stood and clapped before she calmed everyone down and said, "One more announcement. I'm pregnant."

"It's a boy." David stood next to her. Everyone cheered and applauded.

Regina hugged her and smiled, "This is the time to be the great mother we all know you can be."

"Brother? I think we should name him-" Emma said before she stopped and laughed and hugged them both.

"Guess I have a brother in law now." Killian laughed and shook David's hand.

It took Henry a minute to process everything that was happening.

"Yay! I'm going have an uncle!" Henry said, "So many happy announcements, Merry Christmas, everyone."

"Merry Christmas," Mary Margaret said, "Now let's go get our pancakes."

Henry ran into the kitchen with David and Mary Margaret, followed by Regina. Emma stayed on the couch and Killian came to sit by her.

"This is the best Christmas I've ever had." Emma said to him with a small smirk.

"You're the best Christmas gift I've ever had." he smirked back at her and brushed her hair behind her ear.

She kissed his lips and leaned on his shoulder, "When do we go back to the city?"

"Whenever you want, love."

"How about in a week, that gives us time to spend with my family and have some time to ourselves before we leave Storybrooke." Emma suggested.

He nodded and rubbed her back, "You got it. I'm grateful that you said yes."

"You thought I wouldn't?" she said to him.

"No, I knew you would say yes. I didn't think you'd like the ring," he said, lifting her chin so that their eyes met.

"The ring, the story, the way you did it, and just you in general make me really happy. I love you." she kissed his lips and grabbed his hand before the two stood up and made their way into the kitchen.

* * *

 **A/N** : **Well, happy ending? Yes, happy ending. Tomorrow you guys get the epilogue, which will be set five years later. See you all tomorrow and thank you so much for everything :) Happy holidays!**


	12. Epilogue

**A/N: Epilogue, set five years later. Enjoy it while you still can. Leave a review or message me - I'd like to get to know all of you :)**

* * *

 **Epilogue** : A Wonderful Life

"Why must I wear this ugly suit every year, Swan?" Killian groaned. He buckled the belt around his waist and pulled his fake beard on along with his hat.

Emma laughed and nudged him in the stomach lightly, "It's for the kids, get over it."

"You'll pay for this." he said to her, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her close to him. Their lips were inches away from each other's and their gazes remained on the others.

"And how will you punish me, captain?" Emma bit her lip and stared down at his lips.

"Oh, I'm going to-"

"Mommy, why are you with Santa Claus?" Leah ran in and hugged Emma's leg. The little girl - with blonde curls and bright, blue eyes, but her thumb and held onto Emma tighter. Killian bent down in front of his daughter and tapped her nose with his finger.

She giggled as Emma pulled her off of her leg and picked her up, sitting Leah on her hip, "I'm talking to him about Christmas and how we are going to see Henry and Micheal."

"What would you like for Christmas, my dear?" Killian said, patting his knee for Leah to come sit on. She jumped out of Emma's arms and sat down on Killian's knee.

"A unicorn." she said, biting her thumb and playing with Killian's fake beard.

"I'll see what I can do," Killian laughed and rubbed her tummy, "I believe you have to get going to your grandparents' house."

Emma nodded and grabbed her hand before she helped Leah put on her jacket and a scarf. She zippered herself up and picked Leah up. In the other hand, she held a bag of presents, brownies, and the car keys. She nodded towards Killian to meet them in the car and they were on their way to the Nolans.

* * *

"Grandma, Pop!" Leah ran into the apartment as soon as Emma opened the door and let her down. She was picked up by David who twirled her in the hair and gave her a big kiss. Emma struggled to get in the door, Killian following behind her, trudging around in his heavy suit.

Mary Margaret came out and put down Micheal - whose hair was as dark on hers and whose eyes were a bright green. He had just turned four. He ran towards Leah and hugged her tightly. They laughed and ran towards the tree, where they plopped themselves on the ground and started to play with Micheal's action figures. Mary Margaret walked over to Emma and welcomed her home. They hadn't seen each other since Easter.

"Merry Christmas, honey." Mary Margaret said, kissing Emma's cheek and grabbing the brownies from her hand. David followed and hugged Emma before he shook Killian's hand and shit the door behind them.

"Looks like you're having fun?" David laughed at Killian.

He rolled his eyes back, "Try putting this suit on and trying to kiss your wife without being interrupted by your three year old daughter."

David hit him playfully and pulled him into the kitchen. Mary Margaret told Emma to make herself feel comfortable while she finished up the chicken in the oven. Emma heard a knock on the door, so she stood and opened it, revealing Henry, Regina, and two newcomers.

"Mom, hey." Henry hugged her and slid past. He wasn't big on hellos anymore considering he was at that age where nothing really mattered. After all, he was 15. Regina stepped forward and hugged Emma as well, but this time, she hand her hand interlocked with a young boy, around the age of three, with chocolate curls and bright, blue eyes. Emma bent down on front of him.

"I'm Emma," Emma said to the little boy, "What's your name?"

"Roland." he mumbled before Regina fluffed his hair and pushed him in towards Henry. Emma stood back up and smiled towards the tall gentleman standing with his arm around Regina. He had dirty blonde hair that was combed back to perfection and blue eyes that stuck out like the sea. He smiled at her and held out his hand, "Robin."

"Nice to meet you two, Merry Christmas." Emma said, welcoming them in. The two stepped inside and Robin helped Regina take off her jacket. Emma noticed something shiny on Regina's hand. She grabbed her hand and held it up, staring amazed at the big diamond on her ring finger.

Regina blushed and looked up to Robin, "Did it last month. Wedding is in June."

"Congratulations!" Emma hugged her once more and patted Robin on the shoulder before they all heard Mary Margaret call for dinner.

* * *

Killian had finally changed back into his regular clothes, which consisted of black jeans and a green long sleeve shirt. He sat down on the couch and sipped his hot chocolate.

"Lonely?" Emma smirked and stood above him.

"Not anymore." he said, grabbing her hand and pulling. her down on his lap.

She laughed and took a sip of his hot chocolate before she kissed his lips lightly, "Mhm, delicious."

"Me, or the hot chocolate?" he smirked and placed the hot chocolate on the end table before he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Both?" she giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, making their foreheads touch and their gazed meet. He tightened his grip on her waist and then caressed her cheek with his hand, rubbing it softly with his thumb and smiling stupidly at her.

She opened her mouth and traced his jawline with her finger, "That stupid grin."

"Huh?"

"That grin-" she bit her lip, "Is what got me clung to you in the first place."

"Then I should use it more often," he looked down to her lips, "To be sure you'll stay holding on forever."

She began tracing his bottom lip with her finger and then looked up at his eyes, "No need to worry about that, I'm not going anywhere."

He started to say something but she cut him off, "At least not for a long time."

And in that moment, he took control of her lips, giving her a passionate kiss and sending exciting shocks through her body. She pulled away for air before she then met him back, continuing the kiss.

"Mommy, daddy, it's time to open presents!" Leah said, running into the living room and hitting them.

They separated their lips and looked down to their daughter, "Well be there in one second, love."

Leah nodded and ran back towards the family room before Killian looked back at Emma, "Merry Christmas, love."

She smiled and kissed him one more time, "You too."

She stood and grabbed his hand before she pulled him to the family room to open presents.

* * *

 **A/N: I'd just like to thank you all - even the ones who just read the first chapter and didn't read any further. It means a lot that people enjoy reading what I write. Thank you again so much and put my story/author notifications on for further stories!**

 **Kisses for the last time.**

 **At least for now.**


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